


In My Life

by mclennunf



Category: McLennon - Fandom, The Beatles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-10-31 22:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mclennunf/pseuds/mclennunf





	1. Chapter 1

Dr. McCartney.

I truly did not want to start a new residency at Sgt. Peppers hospital. 

Firstly, it was way up town from my house. Secondly, I had done my internship at Penny Lane Hospital and I had friends there. I had a foundation. Although I was a resident, starting a new chapter of my career, it felt like starting all over again. 

I walked into the hospital and sighed, remembering I would be getting lost up and down the hallways for the next week or so trying to get used to this huge place.

Sgt. Peppers was a much bigger hospital than Penny Lane. It had eight floors where as Penny Lane only had three. I was in for a treat. 

On the plus side, I was coming to Sgt. Peppers knowing one person. My friend from med school George Harrison. He was a few years younger than me and just starting his internship, so he was just as new to this place as I was. At least we could have each other's backs. 

I joined a group of residents in a boardroom for orientation.  They had all done their internships here and therefore had more confidence and relationships established with their fellow colleagues. My cellphone buzzed in my pocket. I checked it quickly before the attending arrived.

_Jane: Good luck today, Paul. Miss ya already._

Jane was a colleague from Penny Lane. We had started our internship at the same time and got on really well. Nothing sexual, no. It's never a good idea to get involved with someone you work with. Especially when our shifts could be 16+ hours together. Plus I had never really had time for girls, I had no interest. I had always assumed it was because of all the time I spent studying. Jane always teased that it was because I was queer. Jane was just an amazing friend, and I was glad I had her. 

I smiled at my phone and quickly shoved it back into my jacket pocket when I heard the door knob turning. In came a young looking doctor, he couldn't have been much older than me. There was no way he could be the attending. 

"Good morning residents. As you all already know, I'm your attending Dr. Lennon so I am not going to waste my time with stupid introductions. I'm not going to waste my time repeating my rules and expectations because although I know just how tiny your brains are, you should be able to remember. Come get your pagers, and get out of my sight." He said sternly. 

Tough guy, he was. Handsome too. 

All of the residents stood and formed a line as Dr. Lennon handed them their pagers. I stood at the back of the line, quite anxious to get near him. 

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Dr. Lennon asked when I arrived at the front of the line. "Paul McCartney, sir." I said, one eyebrow cocked and a slight smile on my face. 

"Right, from Penny Lane. Here is your pager. If you see my name come up on that wee screen there, ye best drop whatever you have an come. Y'hear me, McCartney?"  Dr. Lennon asked as he shoved the pager in my hand. 

"Yes, Dr. Lennon." I said, nodding. The ego on this guy was ridiculous, I could already tell. I began to walk out of the room. "Don't be late for rounds, McCartney." I heard him say from behind me. "I won't be, sir." I nodded at him and walked out of the room. I needed to find the bloody doctor's lounge to get a locker. I also needed to find George. 

_Paul: Mate, where are you? Trying to find the bloody lounge._

I hit send and slowly walked down the hallway, hoping I didn't look too lost. I stopped at the nurses station and put my bag on the counter, pulling out my phone. 

_George: Hey mate. I'm in an orientation all day. There's a doctors lounge on each floor near the nurses station._

_Paul: Perfect I'm at the nurses station right now. Just gotta find it now. Have fun! Pints after? Celebrate the first day._

_George: Bloody right!_

I smiled and put my phone in my bag, scanning my surroundings for the doctors lounge. 

"It's right there, love." I heard a nurse say. I turned to her and she nodded toward a door that said DOCTORS LOUNGE. "Perfect. Thank you!" I smiled at her. "I'm Sadie. You need anything, come ask." She smiled. "I'm Paul, thank you very much Sadie." I said as I walked toward the lounge. When I walked in there was a sea of medical and surgical doctors. I found a locker, changed into my blue scrubs, put my stethoscope around my neck and locked up my belongings. Except my pager of course, couldn't let Dr. Ego down.

"Aye, you're the new resident?" I heard from behind me. "I am." I turned around to find a short, smiling man. "Me too, just got hired on from a hospital in London. Names Richard." He held out his hand. "I'm Paul." I smiled and shook his hand. "C'mon, Paul. Rounds are gonna be startin' soon." He informed me. I smiled and followed him out of the lounge. 

Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. Richard seemed nice, maybe I could stick with him. 

Richard and I were almost late to rounds. Lennon gave me a piercing look as we approached. "Nice of you to grace us with your presence, McCharmly." He scoffed. I bit my tongue and tried not to roll my eyes. Lennon had clearly already taken a disliking to me. 

"Don't worry about it, from what I hear he's like that with everybody." Richard whispered beside me. I nodded, not taking my eyes off my dick head of an attending. What else was I to expect? Besides the fact that he was extremely attractive. Not that it mattered, I could just appreciate an attractive person. 

I looked at our first patient. A small, yellow man. 

"Our first patient is exhibiting signs of jaundice. What causes the yellowness of the skin?" Dr. Lennon asked. I raised my hand, only realizing after that I had been the only one. "Ah, yes. Dr. Know-It-All-McCartney." He pointed at me. 

"Jaundice is a condition caused by elevated levels of the chemical bilirubin in the blood. The elevated levels can be caused by a variety of medical conditions, some of which are serious and potentially life-threatening." I answered, fluttering my eyelashes at Dr. Lennon. "Correct, Dr. Textbook. Moving on." He began to walk toward our next patient. 

"Good for you mate. I didn't think anybody would want to answer." Richard said to me as we walked closely behind Lennon. "How come?" I asked. "Because Lennon is scary. You get a question wrong and he's not afraid t'roast ye in front of everybody." Richard laughed. I rolled my eyes a little bit. "He's not going to humiliate me anytime soon." I said, smiling smugly. 

Suddenly we heard a heart monitor start going berserk. "Dr. Lennon, she's crashing!" Sadie yelled as she ran over to a patient. Dr. Lennon ran up to the side of the bed, and immediately he looked like a different person. 

"She's in V.F. and she's lost an airway." Sadie said. 

"She's blown a pupil!" Another nurse said. I approached to help. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Dr. Lennon yelled. I backed up beside Richard, wide eyed. 

"Sadie, bolus amiodarone." Lennon instructed

"Grab me a crash cart and a central line kit." He said to another nurse. 

The way he knew exactly what to do and how to do it was intriguing and exciting all at once. 

"I'll bag him, run the fluids wide open." Lennon said. I watched him work. I didn't look at the patient at all, my eyes were fixed on him. The way he moved, the way he spoke. I was completely  captivated by him. 

"Okay, he's stable. Good work, ladies." Dr. Lennon smiled at them. His smile was even more captivating. I'd never felt something like this before, so I assumed it was because I looked up to him as a mentor. 

"We're done here." Dr. Lennon said as he shoved through the group of us and into a doctor's lounge. "Wow." Richard said. 

The next few hours of my shift were boring as all hell. I didn't seen Dr. Lennon again. We just had another orientation with the chief of medicine, Dr. Epstein. He seemed like a very genuine, nice fellow. Thankfully, after 10 hours of orientations and trying to remember the layout of the hospital, it was time to leave. 

_George: Hey, meet me outside. I'm heading out._

I smiled, remembering my plans with George. I met him out front, finding him leaning against my car. 

"How was the first day mate?" He asked as he hugged me. "Not bad." I answered as we climbed into my car. "Whaddya know about Dr. Lennon?" I asked him, hoping for a good answer. "He did an orientation for us this afternoon. Seems like a right cocksucker, he does." George laughed. "I dunno, I think he's alright." I said, shrugging my shoulders as we pulled away from the hospital. "Ah, gotta little crush do we?" George teased as he nudged my shoulder lightly. "Ah fuck off, 'es a guy!" I laughed. "I don't think that matters! Look at yer face, yer smitten just talking about him!" George kept teasing. 

"No way. He's a cocksucker, as you said. He's just a really good doctor and I want a good teacher, y'know." I said, trying to not only convince George that it was the truth, but myself. 

I parked the car. "C'mon, let's go get a pint." George laughed and got out of the car. I felt my pager buzz, so I quickly pulled it off my scrub bottoms and looked at it. 

_J.W. Lennon: Good job today. Keep it up.._

I smiled to myself. 

I must have stood out to him.

 


	2. Another Day

Dr. Lennon. 

Ah, hour 14 of my work day. Long hours weren't the worst part of the job. In fact, I preferred to stay at the hospital. I liked to be there so that I was aware of what was going on all the time, and to scare the interns and residents into being half-decent doctors. Plus, I liked to be with my patients. 

"Good morning Mr. Kite. How're we doing?" I greeted one of my favourite patients. "I thought I told you I didn't want to see you back in here." I said as I grabbed his chart. Mr. Kite tried to smile, obviously in pain. Mr. Kite had a very low immune system and always had something wrong with him. "Ah, Lennon you're happy to see me. Even if you can't admit it." Mr. Kite tried to joke. I raised my eyebrow and allowed a smile to creep out the side of my mouth before looking at his chart. 

"Some severe abdominal discomfort, eh?" I asked a I read the symptoms on his chart - which were barely legibly written by an intern. "I know, same issue as before. But I swear, it's worse this time Dr. Lennon." He told me. "I am on the case." I said, smiling as I pointed at him and walked out of the room. 

"Sadie?" I said, trying to gain her attention in order to find out who the intern on call was. Sadie turned around and rolled her eyes when she realized it was me calling her. "What is it now, John?" She said, almost flirtatiously. Almost. "Tell me, love. Who is the intern on call that decided it was a great idea to make it extremely difficult for me to read my patient's chart?" I asked with a fake smile, leaning against the counter of the nurses station. "John, you've gotta lose the tough guy act. It's getting old." Sadie told me as she shook her head and snatched the chart out of my hand and looked at it. "Wow, that is hard to read." Sadie observed as she giggled and looked back up at me. "George Harrison is the intern on call. He's the cute one over with Mrs. Henderson at the moment. Be easy on him, he's younger." Sadie ordered. "Ah, aren't they all though, love? Not everybody can be as old and wise as the great Dr. John Lennon." I winked at her. "26 is not old, John." She said as I walked away toward Mrs. Henderson's room. 

As I approached Mrs. Henderson's room, I saw what could only be described as a  _child_ wearing scrubs and holding her clipboard. "Ah, ha. You must be the toddler who just barely graduated preschool. How did you convince them to give you a pair of scrubs and a stethoscope? I'm just curious." I asked as I crossed my arms, staring the kid in the eye. He looked absolutely petrified. Oh, how I loved these moments. "I'm not sure I'm understanding th-the joke, sir." The kid mustered up the courage to reply. "Next time you're on call and you have been assigned to one of  _my_ patients, make sure you take the extra three seconds to make your writing is legible or you can bet your ass you won't be going near another one of my patients. Are we clear?" I ranted sternly, not resting my hands on the top of my head. 

"Y-yes, sir." Harrison nodded and fast-walked away from me. I loved picking out the weak ones. "You think that was necessary, John?" I heard Sadie say from behind me. "Hell Sade, what d'ye want from me? I've been here for 5 years. You know how I work. These kids will never survive if they can't handle a tough attending doctor." I told her smugly as I walked next to her back toward the nurses station.

"John, you can't keep this tough guy act up forever. Hell, when was the last time you went on a date?" Sadie rudely pointed out. "Ah, probably 5 years ago when I started here with you!" I winked and walked away toward the resident that had been driving me crazy. Not because he was a bad resident, but because he was good. And he knew it. 

"McCartney. On call are we?" I said as I came up behind him. The young man turned around, flashing his big doe eyes at me. "Yes sir, just starting me shift now." He said smugly as he examined his chart. "Oh, it's looks as though we'll be working together today." He said as he looked up at me, fluttering his eyelashes not-so-subtly. "Don't get excited yet, kid." I said sternly, trying to put my mean-tough-guy facade back on. "Heal, boy." I snarled as I began to walk over to Mr. Kites room, McCartney was close behind me. "This is Mr. Kite, Mr. Kite this is the resident that will be working with me today. Don't worry, I won't let him kill you." I joked, Mr. Kite laughed as McCartney shot me a death stare. We walked back out into the hall.

"I've already checked out Mr. Kite's chart, and I think we should order an endoscopy for the abdominal pain." McCartney told me as he leaned against  the nurses station. What an attitude this kid had. "Listen, kid. You're book smart, I can tell. But this is your first patient, MY patient, and you are just going to stay behind me and take notes. If I ask you to do something, you do it. Speaking of, why don't you go grab me a coffee." I said as I rolled my eyes and flipped through Mr. Kite's chart. "I'm not your assistant, I'm your student. I'm just saying I think it would be best to get the endoscopy, just to rule out stomach cancer and whatnot." He said back. I narrowed my eyebrows, putting the chart down and resting my hands on the top of my head. "Did you not hear me, McCartney? This is my patient. He has the same symptoms as the last bloody time he was admitted. I'm not going to push this guy into a very painful, invasive procedure based on the hopeful opinion of a resident." I said, hoping to scare him at least a little. 

"Your wish is my command, your highness." McCartney smirked as he walked on by me. I heard a giggle and spun to see Sadie with her hand on her mouth. "What are you laughing at, then?" I asked, annoyed. "I just think that little bugger is absolutely adorable, and it makes it so much better to see him talk back to the all-mighty John Lennon!" Sadie was laughing out loud now as she handed me a coffee. "And here's your coffee. I told you we've got a machine back here about six times now." Sadie said as she sat back down. "That's Dr. John Lennon to you, sweet cheeks. But thank ye for the coffee. I can only remember so many things that come out of your god forsaken mouth, Sadie." I replied, winking at her as I sipped at the hot, black coffee. 

"Really though, John. That boy is a very good looking doctor. You've finally got some competition." Sadie smirked as I walked around the counter and sat down beside her. "You know that's not true. Bloody slow today, isn't it?" I complained. "John, it's finally slowing down up here, why don't you go to the on call room and get some sleep? Or even better, go the hell home!" Sadie suggested. "Ah, can't very well go home now can I? I've got McCartney here thinkin' he can order procedures that he knows nothing about, I've got the three year old scribbler running around, God only knows what the other interns are on about." I rolled my eyes. I loved being in control of my patients and my students. I didn't want to admit that I was exhausted because the truth was, I didn't want to go home.

"Cut McCartney some slack, he's a resident after all. He's got experience, you can't treat him like a new intern." Sadie told me as she raised an eyebrow at me. "He's good, Sadie you're right. But I can't tell him that, now can I? He already has an ego. Bugger flutters his long fuckin' eyelashes at me one more time I may have a heart attack." I rolled my eyes as I stood up to poor another cup off coffee. "What did you just say? It sounds like maybe he's got a little crush on you, Lennon." Sadie began to giggle again as I sat back down. "Not the case at all, sweet cheeks. He's just trying to grind me damn gears. Y'know, he can be a sassy little prick but if he flutters his eyelashes he gets what he wants. No, no. Not on my watch." I said as I crossed my legs. 

"That could be true. He is cute though, Lennon. " Sadie laughed as she stood up and nudged my shoulder. "Maybe you should get his number then, Sade." I chuckled as I took the last sip of my coffee. "I'll take my chances with the intern you yelled at with the sloppy writing. He's a cute one." Sadie turned around and said to me as she walked away. I shook my head, smiling, as I went to check on Mr. Kite. Who was not in his bed. 

"Where in the hell is Mr. Kite?!" I yelled, looking around the hallway and back to the nurses station. "An orderly took Mr. Kite down for an endoscopy about a half an hour ago, Dr. Lennon." An older nurse told me. I felt my face turn to a burning red colour. 

"Where in the HELL is McCartney!" I almost screamed down the hallway. I needed some air because I knew if I had found him in the next few seconds, I would hit him square in those fluttery eyes of his. Instead of finding my way outside, I ran into Sadie again. "Woah woah woah, John! What's going on? You're about as red as a strawberry, mate." Sadie said as she grabbed me by my biceps. I clenched my jaw repeatedly. "I am so bloody mad Sadie, I may kill someone." I said, obviously exaggerating. "Alright, on call room. Now." Sadie said as she shoved me toward the on call room. 

She sat down on the bed as I paced back and forth, rubbing my temples. "That bloody McCartney, Sadie. I told him I wasn't going to order the damn endoscopy because it wasn't necessary, and he goes and does it behind me back? That soddin' git is going to get thrown out on his ass." I nearly tripped over my words. "John. It's fine, talk to him. He's probably just trying to prove to you that he's not afraid and he's a strong doctor." Sadie's words always calmed me down and brought me back to Earth. I took a deep breath. "Fine, c'mon. I need to find him." I said, extending my hand out, pulled her up and kissed her cheek. We walked back out and, low-and-behold, Mr. Kite was back in his bed and McCartney was standing at the nurses station. 

"Dr. McCartney?" I began as I approached him. "Can I call you a doctor? Or just a guy who likes to put patients in unnecessary pain and disobey their attending's orders?" I said, trying to keep my cool as I got close to him, crossing my arms. "Listen," McCartney began before being interrupted by another nurse. "Dr. McCartney? Mr. Kite's test results." She said as she handed him the folder. He opened it up and examined it, I noticed his eyes widen a little bit and his eyebrows raise. I could tell he was trying to keep his cool. He lifted his head, and looked me dead in the eye.

"Mr. Kite has stomach cancer, Dr. Lennon."

 


	3. Mind Games

Dr. McCartney

"Mr. Kite has stomach cancer, Dr. Lennon." 

Dr. Lennon's face was beat red. My heart was racing and I wanted to walk away, but I knew I had to stay put and stand my ground. I had just completely shown up my attending doctor, and I needed him to know that I was strong and wasn't going to take any of his shit. We stared intensely in each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. As I stood there, frozen with fear and hoping it was coming off as courage, I noticed his eyes. They were a beautiful light brown, and his eyelashes framed the beautiful shape of his eyes perfectly. I realized how long we had been staring at each other and I quickly cleared my throat and looked back down at the chart. "I suggest we start chemotherapy as soon as possible." I broke the silence and looked back up at Dr. Lennon smugly. 

Dr. Lennon cleared his throat, obviously feeling some sort of tension. Apart of me hoped he had felt the same odd tension that I had felt. "You seem to be smug about the fact that one of my favourite patients could be dying of stomach cancer. All because you got a win. I suggest you march your smug little ass in there and explain this illness to Mr. Kite and give him his options. This is on you now, McCartney." Dr. Lennon said in a deep growl of a tone. I now doubted he felt the odd tension. I hadn't had to tell anybody they might be dying before. "We won't know if the cancer is terminal until the tumour is removed, so you'll need to convince him that surgery is his only hope of survival." Dr. Lennon added, crossing his arms and leaning in quite close to me. 

"Yes, sir." My stomach tingled as I spoke the words. I told myself it was from my nerves, but I believed it had something to do with those beautiful light brown eyes. He rolled his eyes and walked away from me and into another patients room. I took a few deep breaths before reaching into my pocket and grabbing my phone. 

_Paul: Hell. Went behind Lennon's back to do a procedure he told me not to do, turns out the patient has cancer. One McCartney, zero Lennon._

_Jane: Come over tonight, I wanna hear all about it._

_Paul: See you tonight._

I put my phone away and held back a smile. I didn't want people thinking I was some soft resident craving approval from my attending. I had to mentally prepare myself to talk to Mr. Kite.  People his age had a higher risk of complications or death during a serious surgery. This definitely was a serious surgery. Surgery or not, he's risking his life. This was all part of the job, though. I knew this wouldn't be the most difficult thing I'd have to tell someone as a doctor, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to be difficult. I walked into Mr. Kites room and closed the door. "Hi, Mr. Kite," I began, trying to hide the shakiness of my voice. "What's going on, doctor? Cut to the chase." Mr. Kite said trying to sound tough. I could tell he was nervous. Hell, after a procedure like that I would've been nervous about the results too. "Well, Mr. Kite, we found a tumour in your stomach. Unfortunately, there's no way for us to tell if it's terminal until it's removed. That means we'll have to schedule you for surgery. But I want you to know that someone your age does have a higher risk of complication during surgery." I said softly, choosing every word that came out of my mouth with the utmost care and respect. "So, basically what you're saying is, I might die without the surgery and I might die with the surgery?" Mr. Kite asked, his eyes brimming with tears. 

I felt my heart begin to beat fast as I nodded, confirming his question in regards to his likelihood to live. "That's correct, sir. But if you'd like my professional opinion, I'd suggest you go with the surgery. Our surgical team here is top notch, and we will take such good care of you... I'm so sorry Mr. Kite. If you need anything at all, please let me know." I said as calmly and collectively as I could. "Please just....just give me a few minutes." Mr. Kite requested. "Take all of the time you need, sir." I said as I stood up and exited the room slowly and silently. I sighed and leaned against the nurses station, rubbing my face. "First death sentence?" I heard Sadie's voice. I looked up and saw her sympathetic face. I half smiled and nodded. "Aw, love." She added and patted my shoulder. "That poor man." I mumbled and rubbed my eyes. "How long have you been here?" Sadie asked me as she began pouring a cup of coffee. "Since 5am yesterday." I yawned. Sadie slid the cup of black coffee into my hand. "Thank you." I said as I blew on it and took a sip. "Jesus, McCartney. Go home." She said as she took the empty cup of coffee I had sucked down away. I nodded. "I suppose I should. Thanks, Sadie." I smiled at her and headed for the doctors lounge. 

I changed into my street clothes and threw my scrubs in the large hamper. I carefully put my stethoscope into my locker and locked it up. I leaned on my locker briefly and thought about Mr. Kite. I shook my head. The poor man had to decide which way he may or may not die. "You did a good thing." I heard a low growl. I turned to see Dr. Lennon standing in the door way. I straightened my back and flashed a fake smile. He shut the door and sat down on the bench facing me. He held his hands together and looked up at me with those beautiful light brown eyes. They looked tired. "I know it's difficult, McCartney. But you stood up and did what you thought was best for your patient. Even if it meant disobeying your attendings orders." I was surprised at how calm he had been speaking to me. "Look, about that, I'm sorry." I said, mustering up the courage to sit down beside him. I brushed his shoulder against mine as I sat down, sending a weird feeling shooting throughout my body. We looked at each other for a few moments. "Dr. Lennon, I won't go behind your back again." I said, breaking our eye contact and looking down at my feet. "Call me John." He said softly. 

His voice sounded completely different. "You're a good doctor, Paul. You trusted your gut instinct." John observed. I nodded, the fact that he was being kind to me was astonishing. "You're lightyears ahead of the other residents in this hospital. Just don't let it get to your head, okay?" John told me, locking eyes with me again. "Thank you, John." I said quietly, not breaking our eye contact. His eyes were so intense and so soft at the same time. "Ye best not be tellin' the other residents I'm being nice to you. I have a reputation to uphold, y'know." John said. He was blushing. Dr. John Lennon was blushing. Was he? No. He couldn't be. Oh God, I had been staring at him. I laughed to hide my nervousness. "I'll take it to my grave." I joked. He stood up and opened his locker. He shimmied off his white coat and stripped his shirt, grabbing one out of his locker. I found myself staring at his broad shoulders, the strong protruding muscles in his back. I shook my head to snap myself out of it and jumped up, grabbing my bag. "I should go, thanks again John." I said confused and nervously. "D'ye wanna get a pint? There's a pub just across the way." John spun around, still shirtless and fumbling with the black long sleeve shirt in his hands. My eyes and his collar bones were like magnets. I couldn't take my eyes off of them until he slipped the shirt on. "Sure, a pint sounds good." I managed to spit out. I pulled out my phone as he finished gathering his things. 

_Paul: Gotta cancel.. Going for a pint with Lennon. Just invited me._

_Jane: Ouu, sounds like someone has a crush. That's okay though, I had to pick up a shift._

_Paul: Don't get me started lol._

"Ready?" John was in front of me, smiling now. I smiled out the side of my mouth and nodded. We exited the hospital into the late afternoon grey sky. John wasn't lying when he said the pub was just across the way, it took us less than 30 steps from the door of the hospital to the two stools in front of the bar. John was obviously a regular, because the man behind the bar flashed him a smile and John held up two fingers. The man nodded and brought us two pints. "So," John began as he took a long swig from his pint. "Where did you go to med school?" He asked. "Quarrybank. Not the nicest of schools, but me Dad never had a lot of money. Rode through school on as many scholarships as I could get." I told him, taking a swig from my own. It felt so nice to taste that pint after all of the shit I had dealt with in the last 24 hours. "Ah, Quarrybank. I went there meself. Not bad at all." John smiled, obviously reminiscing on the memory. "You can't be much older than me, how come I never saw you?" I asked. "I started when I was 18, graduated when I was 21.I'm 26 now,  I'm a bit older than ye, Macca." John said, making me smile at the nickname. "I'm 23 now. So I suppose you would've graduated the year before I started." I observed. John seemed like a completely different person when he didn't have his white coat on. 

"23 eh? You seem older." John said, ordering two more pints. "Eh! What's that suppose to mean?" I laughed and touched my face, jokingly checking for wrinkles. John chuckled. "Bugger off, Macca. I just mean that yer very mature and extremely smart." John complimented me. "Ah, you are soft." I laughed and elbowed his arm, feeling that same weird feeling shoot through my body as I touched him. "I said bugger off!" John was literally giggling now. "I'm just observant. I can make pretty good judgement. I had a good idea about you when I met you. You're one of the only residents who isn't struggling. Bloody hell mate," John chucked, "Wait until you have to deal with interns. I swear to God they get stupider every year." He told me. I thought of George. "One of me mates is one of your interns. Harrison." I told him, hoping for a positive response. "Ah Harrison. He's the small one? I think he'll do fine. He's a nervous bugger, though. He'll have to get over that. Gave him a good scare, I did." John chuckled again. I was relieved that he didn't say anything too negative. "I'm not surprised. What's with the tough guy act, anyhow?" I asked, sipping on my third pint. "It's not an act, really. I don't get along with many people, and I want to make sure my interns and residents turn out to be good doctors. Figure the arsehole attending should be able to scare it into them." John told me as he shrugged. 

I shrugged as well and finished my pint. "Another?" John asked, waving at the bartender before I could even answer. "I suppose so." I laughed and flashed him a smile, he paused and looked at me. He smiled as I watched his eyes linger on my lips for a few moments before we were interrupted by the bartender replacing our empty glasses with full pints. John held up his pint. 

"To you, McCartney. Welcome to Sgt. Peppers." John said, flashing the smile that would soon be imprinted in my mind.

 


	4. Too Many People

Dr. Lennon

I woke up at 4:30AM, a whopping 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep after making sure Paul got home. He lived in a small flat close to mine, and I could tell he was a bit embarrassed that I dropped him off. He had opened up and joked with me at the pub, but when we got to his place he was shy and closed off again. Usually I wouldn't go out of my way to make a friend at the hospital, but there was something different about Paul McCartney. 

I woke up at 4:30AM to the sound of my pager going off the hook. Three different interns, including Paul's mate Harrison, had paged me at least six times each. "Bloody hell," I mumbled to myself as I swung my legs off the side of my bed. I stretched and slowly made my way to the shower, turning it on so hot the bathroom almost instantly filled with steam. As I stepped in the shower, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, enjoying the hot water. Before I knew it, I heard my pager go off again. "Fuckin' interns." I shut off the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I quickly grabbed some clothes and changed. I started up my car and waited a few moments for it to warm up. "This better not be another IV misplaced..." I yawned as I shifted the car into gear, speeding off toward the hospital. My phone buzzed when I parked. 

_Paul: 7 missed pages. I can only imagine what you got this morning._

_John: Times that by three interns._

_Paul: I just got in.. you should hurry. Room 292, 296 and 299. Don't ask how long it took me to find it._

_John: On my way inside._

The fact that Paul had told me to hurry up caused my stomach to flip a little bit. What was I walking into... I remembered the patients in those rooms. Each one of them was in need of a transplant of some sort, but I couldn't remember exactly what. Sadie stood in the nurses station, taking off her jacket. "Just gettin here?" I asked as I poured a cup of coffee beside her. "I left three hours ago." Sadie half smiled. Paul came around the corner, worry in his large doe eyes and three interns following closely behind him. "Mornin', what the hell is this all about then?" I asked, directing the question at the tired looking resident. "Those three transplant patients? Mr. Mackenzie with the liver, Mr. Robert with the kidney and Mrs. Rigby with the heart... They're all circling the drain. The interns have been fightin' with death all night, John." Paul said, bringing me up to speed on the situation. I noticed Harrison's face change when he heard his mate call me by my first name. I didn't like that. "Dr. McCartney," I said sternly, "You need to make sure they're being bumped to the top of the transplant lists. Send these interns home, they're of no use to us this tired. Harrison, you stay." I said, not taking my eyes away from my coffee. 

"Yes, sir." Paul said awkwardly as he turned to the interns, waiving them toward the doctors lounge. "It's not looking good, John." Sadie said behind me. "I bloody know that, don't I Sadie?" I snapped a little too quickly. I finished my coffee quickly, leaving a burning sensation in my throat. I walked over to Mr. Mackenzie's room, who looked yellow and sickly. Barely a man, fading away from a failing organ. "We're trying to get you bumped up on the list, sir." I told him as I examined his chart. Vitals were scarily low. I noticed Paul leaving the doctors lounge and excused myself from Mr. Mackenzie's room. "Paul," I said, to get his attention. "Yes, Dr. Lennon?" Paul answered, spinning around with an annoyed look on his face. "Lose the attitude. I'm glad you're here." I said quietly. "Are you going to talk to me like an intern in front of the rest of 'em? Only mates when the white coats are off?" Paul growled. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "We need to be professional, Paul. We have three patients circling the drain and we need organs. They won't make it to this afternoon if we don't get them." I told him as I leaned on the counter of the nurses station. "I understand, John. I know you have relationships with these patients, so if it's too hard..." Paul tried to say before I cut him off. "I'm a bloody professional, Paul. I'm not going to let my personal feelings get in the way. Keep that in mind." I said, calmly hinting at our new-found friendship. 

Paul just nodded. Before we knew it, Sadie and another nurse were wheeling in a stretcher with a petite blonde girl on it. "John! We've got a 27 year old female, collapsed in her office." Sadie yelled as she and the nurse lifted the young girl into a bed. I went over to the girl and began examining her chart as filled out by the paramedics. "Looks like an overdose. Let's stabilize her and get some tests done. Look for cocaine." I instructed to Paul, who nodded and got to work. I admired him as he worked. He had no fear, and no hesitations behind his orders to the nurses. Starkey, Paul's fellow resident, flew in and helped his colleague. They worked well together, like a machine. I couldn't help but stare at Paul, though. His white coat seemed as though it was too big, and I was just realizing now how skinny he was for a lad his age and height. The stress and pressure of medical school and internship took a toll on all doctors, but I assumed he dealt with more stress than the rest of the residents I'd seen. He had mentioned not having much money growing up and surviving school on scholarships - I could only imagine the grades he would've needed. "She's stable. Take this down to the lab and run the tests, put it at the top of the list, please." Paul instructed to the younger nurse. I saw him give Sadie the once over, followed by a sympathetic look as though he knew she needed rest. 

"Sade, we can handle this. You go home." I told her, noticing Harrison observing behind me. "What are we starin' at?" I directed to Harrison. "Just watchin', takin' notes." He responded, not taking his eyes off of Sadie. "Stop gawkin'. Don't ye have patients to take care of?" I shot him a look. "C'mon George, lets go get some coffee from the cafeteria." Sadie pulled him by the arm and shot me her death stare. I chuckled and walked over to the nurses station. I had to take a breath, there was a lot going on and Paul was right unfortunately, I did have relationships with these patients and I wanted to make sure they got their organs and lived, even if it was the last thing I did. "You're a good doctor, John. I know we can figure this out, together." Paul told me as he approached beside me. I heard him say the word together and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the thought. I looked up at him to find those big eyes accompanied by a smile. I noticed him pull out his phone, reading a message from a girl named Jane. "Jane yer girlfriend?" I asked, feeling a weird pang of jealousy. I liked the attention he was giving me. "No, she's a mate from me old hospital. No girlfriend for me." Paul said as he shifted his weight uncomfortably, shoving his phone back in his white coat pocket. I raised an eyebrow at him, expecting some kind of explanation but I didn't get one. "Being a doctor takes up most of your time. I haven't had a date since me first year here." I admitted, hoping to empathize with him. 

"She's crashing!" We heard Starkey's voice. "You've got this." I nodded at Paul. We both ran over to the young blonde and I observed and waited for Paul's instruction. Starkey and I obeyed all of Paul's orders. I ripped open her shirt, preparing Paul. He grabbed the two paddles. "Clear!" We moved. "Clear!" He yelled again. I proceeded with CPR in between Paul's instruction. "Clear!" I moved. The flatline went dead. I stopped and looked up at Paul. "Clear!" He tried again. "Paul," I said calmly. "Clear!!" He said again. "Paul, she's gone. You have to call it." I told him. He backed up and put the paddles down, checking his watch. "Time of death 5:56AM." Paul said before leaving the room, heading toward the doctors lounge. "I'll take care of this." Starkey told me, looking at the young girls mother in the hall. She had her hands over her mouth. I nodded and followed Paul. He was sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. "She was so young." He said quietly. I was about to sit down next to him, I wanted to touch his back and tell him everything was okay but we were interrupted by Starkey. His eyes were wide, and he had a small smile. "We have our organs." He told us. Paul straightened up. "Let's prep them for surgery, tell the O.R. we're on our way." I said, making the call as Paul stood up and smiled at me. "It always works out." I tried to smile back at him. 

Before we knew it, all of the transplants had taken place and the effects on our three struggling patients was substantial. "All three are stable." Starkey proudly announced. I walked into Mr. Robert's room, who looked like a brand new man. "How are we feelin', sir?" I asked. "Much better, much better. Thank you so much doctor. Although, my feet feel a little numb." Mr. Robert told me. I raised an eyebrow and nodded, walking out of the room with his chart. There was no reason for his feet to feel numb, I wondered what could've gone wrong in surgery. "Mrs. Rigby's stable, but her arm is numb." Paul told me, looking just as concerned as I felt. I grabbed Mrs. Rigby's chart from him and examined it. "There's no bloody reason for it. Mr. Mackenzie's feet are numb." I told him. "Fuckin' hell." He said, sounding even more concerned now. 

Sadie came barreling onto the floor with a folder. The results from the young girls test. Sadie's face was white, and scared. She handed it to me, Paul looked as though he braced himself. "John.." Sadie said quietly. I opened it up. It couldn't be true. It couldn't. "She had rabies?" I asked, my voice sounding airy and scared. "Jesus Christ." Paul leaned back on the counter as if to hold himself up. "We have to act fast. Come on people now we know what we're dealing with, tell every doctor, intern, resident and nurse on this bloody floor and let's fix it! We can do this!" I yelled as I threw the folder down. Every employee on that floor was flying around doing everything we could to help our patients who I had literally infected with rabies. I hadn't seen any faces, everybody was a blur. "Mr. Mackenzie is crashing!" Sadie yelled as three other nurses ran into his room. 

"Time of death 10:35AM." I called the first death. 

"John! Mrs. Rigby!" I heard Paul's voice. He backed out of my way and allowed me to do what I could. 

"Time of death 11:07AM." I called the second death. 

Paul, Starkey, Sadie and I took a few minutes to stand at the nurses station. It wasn't even a few minutes before Harrison ran out of Mr. Robert's room. "He's crashing!" He yelped. "Fucking hell." I threw my stethoscope down on the counter, causing Paul and Starkey to jump. It came as no surprise to Sadie, however. We ran into Mr. Robert's room, and Paul began CPR. "Clear!" I ordered, he moved instantly. "We have a rhythm still, c'mon, clear!" I ordered again. "Clear!!" I yelled. "John, he's gone." I heard Paul's voice. "FUCK!" I threw the paddles down and shoved the machine to the ground. Starkey backed up to the wall to move out of my way. "FUCK!" I screamed again as I slammed the door shut. Three people. Three. All three. Dead. 

I walked toward the exit before I heard Paul call my name. I turned around, hiding the tears brimming in my eyes. "Your shift isn't over." Paul told me. I nodded and let out a small chuckle. 

"Trust me son, it's over."

 


	5. Crippled Inside

Dr. McCartney

I had stayed at the hospital 16 hours after John left. There was a meeting called by Dr. Epstein for all the attendings and residents to explain to us what had happened and how he didn't expect John to come back anytime soon. He told us we needed to be there for his patients, and for him when the time came. The halls seemed dim without John yelling at someone. 

"I'm heading out, Sade." I told Sadie as I placed my patients charts on the counter of the nurses station. "The bags under your eyes are ridiculous." Sadie chuckled. "Thanks love. Hey uh- you heard from John?" I asked quietly. Sadie pulled out her phone, examined the screen and shook her head. "Nothing. Take my number, we can keep in touch. I want to know if you hear from him." Sadie said as she snatched my phone out of my white coat pocket, dialling her number in. I nodded as I took my phone back. "I'm worried." I said even quieter. "Me too, Paul. I've never seen him like that. I'm gonna stop by his place on my way home.. I've gotta get out of here. 36 hours is a long shift." Sadie told me as she swung her jacket around her slim shoulders. "Thanks Sadie. Let me know how it goes." I tried to smile, walking toward the doctors lounge to gather my things and head out to my car. 

_Paul: Jane.. absolutely horrible shift. I'm going home to rest, but we should meet for a pint tonight._

_Jane: I'd love to, hun, but I have to cover a shift tonight. Short staffed here. I'm sorry, feel better._

I sighed and threw my phone in the passenger seat. I started the car, and stared down at my hands for a few moments. The blood of those patients was on my hands just as much as John's, and it made me sick. I had never experienced something like that before, and evidently, neither had John. I finally put the car into gear, and made my way back to my small flat. As I drove passed John's, I noticed his car was in the drive, Sadie's was behind it. Hopefully he had let her in.

Hopefully he was okay. 

I made my way inside my cold house and threw on a thick jumper, track pants and slippers. I couldn't afford the heating bill that month, instead I had to make my car payment. Being a doctor hadn't been so glamorous. After all the hard work I'd done in high school and in med school, you'd think I would be living an amazing life as a doctor. It was a life of poverty at this point. I lived in a small flat that felt like an icebox, I had high car payments on an old piece of shit car, and I watched people die for a living. I lied down on my couch, finally being able to relax my mind for a few moments before I felt my phone vibrate. 

_Sadie: I've never seen him like this before Paul. He's absolutely knackered and telling me he's ready to work._

_Paul: Not a fan of the whole drinking and doctoring thing. He best stay put at home._

_Sadie: He definitely doesn't want to listen to me. Would you come see him? He's been talking about you, and I need rest._

_Paul: Be there soon._

I rolled my eyes at her last text. I knew Sadie did need to go home and sleep, after all, she had worked a 36 hour shift. I just did not want to deal with a drunk John. I barely knew him, let alone knew how he would be handling this situation. I put on a pair of trousers and a black turtle neck jumper. I decided I would walk, considering how close John's house was to mine. When I arrived, Sadie was walking out to her car, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Sadie!" I called as I approached her, touching her shoulder sympathetically. "He's a fucking mess, Paul. He just finished screaming at me." She said as she wiped the tears out from under her eyes. "Why was he screaming at you?!" I asked, immediately concerned for what his reaction of me coming to his home would be. "That he didn't need my help, that I need to help myself." Sadie choked up. "Go get some rest. We'll pull him out of this." I hugged her. "Thanks, Paul." She smiled and I watched her get into her car and roll away. I took a deep breath and opened his front door. "John?" I called as I kicked off my shoes. No reply. I took another deep breath and made my way into what I assumed was his living room. John was sitting on the couch in a pair of track pants, flashing those damn collar bones at me again. "Want a drink? I know you're off tomorrow." John said as he stood up, walking over to his mini bar and pouring a glass of scotch for me. "You seem like an on the rocks kind of lad." John smiled as he handed me the drink. I sat down next to him and sipped at the strong drink. "You're a bloody mess." I said, stating the obvious. "I'm not." John argued as he slammed the large glass he had been sipping on, proceeding to pour himself another. "How much have you had to drink?" I asked, crossing my legs and resting the glass on my lap. "Well, McCartney. I don't think that matters, does it?" John said as he turned around. My eyes quickly found their way to his toned body. He sat down next to me and I managed to pry my eyes away.  _I just look up to him, I want to be like him_ , I tried to convince myself. 

"We should talk about this, John," I tried to say before he interrupted me. "Just get fuckin' hammered with me tonight and we'll talk about it tomorrow when we're both hung to the bloody tits. Can ye do that for me?" John asked, crossing his legs on the couch and facing me almost uncomfortably close. "I suppose so." I nodded and looked to my drink, taking a larger swig. "Loosen up, Paul. C'mon," John held out his class. I clinked my glass against his and watched him finish the scotch. "Go on, now!" John gestured toward my glass. I took a deep breath and slammed the scotch in my glass, naming a scrunched up face because of the burn in my mouth and down my throat. "Atta boy! You have to listen to your teacher, y'know." John winked as he snatched my glass and poured us both another. "So, tell me about yourself." John said with slurred speech, handing me the glass back. "I already have, John." I chuckled, referring to our night at the pub. "Nah that's horse shit. Tell me everything." John smiled softly and rested his chin in one hand. "Well, I was born here in Liverpool. I have a brother, Mike. He's a school teacher. Me Mum, Mary, passed away when I was 14. Breast cancer. That's why I decided to become a doctor, so kids like Mike and I didn't have to deal with that. But, anyway. I already told ye about school, and now I'm here. Tryin' to help my attending out of a bloody rut." I explained, before taking a swig of the scotch to repress the familiar pain of my Mother's passing. "My Mum died too. Hit by a car." John became quiet, a rasp in his voice. "Sorry mate." I said quietly too. "It's all over now, cryin' ain't gonna bring them back now is it?" John tried to perk himself back up, not losing the drunken tone of his voice. "Other than yer Mum, any important birds in yer life?" John asked, leaning in a little closer to make himself comfortable. His hand brushed my hip, causing me to jump from that odd feeling shooting through my body again.  

"Nah, dated a girl in high school for about a month. Got too into havin' good grades after that." I admitted, John's eyebrows raising at the statement. "Bloody hell. No sex then?" John chuckled. "Jesus Christ John!" I laughed. "Well!" He shoved my shoulder lightly. "Course I've had soddin' sex." I guzzled the rest of my scotch and stood up for another, feeling the alcohol in my shaky knees. "I've had lots of birds, but never found the right one. I think I might be destined to be alone the rest of me life." John said when I turned my back to pour my drink. I knew he was serious, but I didn't know how to react. "Bit depressin', isn't it?" I tried to chuckle as I spun around with a full glass. "S'true mate. Nobody can love the arse hole doctor who spends way too much soddin' time at the hospital, and kills three patients in one day." There it was. I sat down next to him again, looking over at the doctor I had been so intimidated by, who now looked like a lonely lost little boy. "John, you made the right call." I told him, expecting him to scream at me. "I didn't, Paul." He said, I heard the words get caught in his throat. It must have been the scotch giving me the courage, but I put my hand on his knee. "I would've made the same call. We needed organs or those people were going to die regardless." I squeezed lightly on his knee. He pulled his attention away from his glass of scotch and his eyes found mine. Those beautiful light brown bastards. "I killed them, Paul." He muttered, taking a sip of his scotch but not prying his eyes away from mine. 

"Anybody would've made the call you made. We were desperate for organs, and we got them. It was a team effort, you me and Richard." I told him, noticing my hand was still on his knee and pulling away. Before I could, he grabbed my hand, holding it where it was. He stared down at them for a few moments before finding my eyes again. "Nobody could've seen that coming. I mean, rabies? There was only one reported case last year, John." I kept trying to reassure him. John only nodded, rubbing his thumb against my hand. "You're right." He said quietly. "I'm always right, John." I smiled at him. He shoved my hand away with a smile. "Don't be cheeky, I may be absolutely knackered but I'm still your superior." He laughed and chugged his scotch again. I did the same. "Fuckin' hell, how long have I been here? I'm already knackered meself." I giggled, hiding the uncomfortable tension between us. "What is it about you, Paul?" John asked, getting up off the couch to pour us another drink. This time he forgot the ice. "What do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and allowing my bottom lip to hang open slightly. "Dunno, mate. There's just somethin' about you. I could look at you for hours." John laughed, not turning to face me. "Gone soft?" I laughed too. "Oh bugger off. I'm just comfortable with you. Doesn't make much sense, last mate I made was fuckin' Sadie five years ago and I just screamed at her." John turned around, serious now. He sat back down on the edge of the couch. "She'll be fine, John. She loves you, you know." I reassured him, touching his bare back for a moment. "I push everybody away, Paul. Everybody." John looked into his glass as he spoke. It was almost scary how much this man could drink. "Well, ye haven't pushed me away yet." I observed, shifting my body so I wasn't so close to him. Every tiny touch sent shivers down my bloody back. John mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. "Pardon?" I asked, taking a small swig of my drink. "I said, fuck it." John looked at me, setting his glass down on the coffee table. I was confused, but that didn't last long. 

John lunged himself at me in slow motion and all at once, his lips came crashing onto mine. It was sloppy at first, but when I began kissing him back, it felt right. It felt perfect. It felt like whatever void there had been in my life had just been filled. John grabbed my collar with both hands, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck. When the kiss broke oh-too soon, John was smiling. "I'm sorry," He chuckled as he finished his drink. "Don't be." I said nervously, taking a large gulp of mine. "Maybe you should go, Paul." John said, still smiling. "I don't think so. I think I'm gonna stay." I said sternly, putting my hand back on his knee. "Thank god." John leaned in and kissed my cheek, lingering over it for a few moments after as if to take in my scent. "Another drink?" John offered into my ear, causing that familiar shiver to go shooting down my spine. "Yes please." I handed him my glass, nervous for what was to come next.

 


	6. No More Lonely Nights

Dr. Lennon 

I woke up with a pounding headache. I had not planned on getting sober for a long time, but apparently my plans changed. I rolled over and squinted my eyes at the sun peering in through the cracks in the blinds. I stretched and grunted as I stood up, before grabbing a black t-shirt and pulling it over my head. I made my way to the kitchen to make coffee. The closer I got to the kitchen, the stronger the smell of coffee had become. Puzzled, I walked into the kitchen to find Paul at my coffee machine making a pot of coffee. I stood still for a moment, trying to remember the night before. 

_I picked Paul up. He wrapped his legs around my waist and kissed my collar bone as I walked. I threw him down on the bed, and I smiled when I heard a small giggle escape his lips. I crawled on top of him, lying my chest against his. I felt even more drunk when I stared into his eyes. I kissed him  roughly and moaned his name into his mouth. I slowly let my hand find his hip, squeezing it softly before running my hand slowly toward his crotch. I cupped it and moaned again at the feeling of him, but his hand found my wrist and stopped me. "What is it?" I asked softly as I stared back into his eyes. "Not yet." He whispered back._

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Paul chuckled as I sat down at the table, my head in my hands as if to get rid of the headache. He placed a cup of coffee in front of me and sat down across the table. "Bloody hell, Paul. Thank you." I took the cup and blew on the hot liquid. Paul looked like he was hiding a smile. "What are you on about?" I asked him, smiling now myself. "Nothin'. I notice you're drinking something that's non-alcoholic." Paul chuckled. "Would you look at that? Thank you though, Paul. Really." I said, hoping he understood I was referring to his reassurance in regards to those patients. Those poor patients. "It's gonna be fine, John." Paul said, putting his hand on top of mine. I loved his touch, his hands were soft and emitted love. I wanted to kiss him again, but I hadn't known how he felt about what had happened the night before. "So, last night.." I began, sipping at my hot coffee. Paul shifted uncomfortably and pulled his hand away from mine. "We don't have to talk about it." I shook my head and focused back on my coffee. "No, it's just that I've never done anything like  _that_ before." Paul told me, obviously referring the fact that we were both men. "Neither have I." I said, shaking my head with a small chuckle. "It feels different. Besides the fact that you're a man, it just feels different to touch you, to...kiss you." Paul said softly, not looking up at me now. "I know. I can say the same for you." I mumbled, almost embarrassed by the amount of vulnerability that was bleeding out all over my kitchen.

"This seems very unlike you." Paul observed, putting his hands back up on the table close to mine. I could feel heat radiating off of his hands and I needed to touch them, to hold them. I slowly moved my hands on top of his, feeling full satisfaction. "This has to stay between us, doesn't it?" Paul asked shyly, wrapping his hands around mine. "I think so." I nodded, feeling the headache become a bit more prominent. "I don't want you to leave." I told him. Paul smiled, leaned down and kissed my hand. "I'm not going anywhere." He said, lips still pressed against me. "Are you going to come back to the hospital?" Paul asked. I sighed and looked down at the two perfect pieces of a puzzle that was our hands. "I have to. I belong at that hospital. But that hospital will never fail, time and time again, to make you feel as though everything you've ever done for every patient you've ever had was a waste of time." I told Paul, watching his eyes grow more concerned as I spoke. I couldn't help but stare at him for a moment. His beautiful eyes, the plumpness of his lips. I hadn't realized how attracted to him I was until our lips met. "Well I suppose I'll be ready for more days like that, then." Paul sighed as he spoke. The way every word he spoke rolled out of his lips so smoothly and carefully made my heart beat quicken. "I told you you're a strong doctor. But you saw my biggest flaw in action the other day, I care too much. I allowed the death of three of my patients to mess me up so much that I wanted to drink myself to death. That's not healthy. You don't need to be a doctor to know that." I said quietly. "John, I told you already that you can't let this eat you up." Paul said as he stood up. I immediately noticed the lack of his touch and it almost hurt to feel his hands slip away. "I know. I'm glad you came over." I smiled, watching him pour us both another cup of coffee. He slid it to me and sat down in the chair beside me this time rather than across from me. "I'm glad too. Really, really glad." Paul said as he put his hand on my inner thigh hesitantly. I tried to focus most of my attention on my coffee, knowing if I focused too much on the placement of his hand I would have a whole other issue. 

"Can I kiss you?" Paul asked, hesitantly. "Since when do you feel the need to ask permission?" I chuckled, but before I could continue to speak I was cut off by Paul's lips on my own. Even though he had been drinking coffee, he tasted so unbelievably good. I could feel him melt into me, his hand still placed firmly on my thigh. Paul pulled away and chuckled as he looked down at his coffee. "What?" I asked, concerned that he was laughing at me. "I just can't believe how amazing that feels. Suppose I know why I've never had many girlfriends." Paul said, taking a sip of his coffee. I nodded, realizing this was a big deal after all. I had been with birds before, but nothing ever felt the way it felt with him. "This is a big deal, innit?" I asked. Paul nodded. "I think so." I saw him staring at my lips. I grabbed his cheek and pulled him into another deep passionate kiss. His tongue danced with mine, and I felt myself begin to get overly excited. I pulled away, my hand still on his cheek and stared at him. "My god. You're just... just perfect." I said quietly. "I'm not." Paul smiled, before we both jumped, being startled by his phone ringing. I pulled my hand away and examined him as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "It's Sadie." He told me. "Answer it, then." I gestured toward his phone before taking a sip of my coffee. "Hello?... I'm still here... No it's okay... I'll let him know... See you soon." Paul quickly hung up the  phone. I raised my eyebrow at him. "She's coming over to see you." Paul told me. "I suppose I do owe her an apology, now, don't I?" I chuckled. "I suppose so. I'll head home, you guys will probably want some privacy." Paul said as he stood up to dump the last sip of his coffee down the sink. "I don't want you to." I said, sounding like a spoiled child. "John, you know Sadie is going to want a genuine apology. Plus, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my hands off of you, she'd just find out." Paul laughed as he placed a quick kiss on my lips. "She's me best mate, she's probably going to know as soon as she sees me. Unless of course you're not comfortable with that." I said, trying to respect his privacy as well as my own. "I don't mind, John. Whatever you want. I just know that if word of this spreads around the hospital, Dr. Epstein is going to have a problem with it." Paul told me. "Dr. Epstein is gay, you know? He wouldn't have a problem with it." I said, trying to reassure him. "No, that's not what I mean, love. In our orientation he made it very clear that personal relationships between attendings and residents or interns was not tolerated due to the fact that you're out superiors." Paul explained, shifting his weight uncomfortably. "I don't give a rats ass." I said as I stood up, pushing my hip bones against his until he was stuck against the kitchen counter. I wrapped my arms around his waist and stared into his eyes. "Something about you, McCartney." I almost growled at him. Paul smiled and kissed my nose. "Go shower. Sadie will be here soon, just text me. If you want." Paul said shyly. "Of course." I kissed him again before watching him leave. 

I finished my coffee with a smile on my face and hopped into the shower. I thought about Paul, and realized I had grown hard thinking about him. His kisses, his perfect plump lips, his perfect voice and touch. "John?" I heard Sadie's voice and snapped out of it, realizing I had left myself hanging. "Damn it," I mumbled as I turned the shower off and put my clothes back on. "Sorry, was just in the shower." I mumbled. "Coffee?" I offered. Sadie nodded as she walked into the kitchen in front of me. I began making another pot of coffee as she sat down. "Sade, I'm real sorry 'bout yesterday. I was knackered." I said, turning around to face her. She had bags under her eyes and looked exhausted. "It's okay, John. I was worried about you, though." Sadie sighed. "You didn't deserve it regardless. I'm an ass, you of all people shouldn't have to deal with me. You have for this long, fuck I'm just real sorry." I ranted for a bit until I heard her chuckle softly. "Come off it, John. I just wanted to make sure you were doing better. I suppose Paul helped?" Sadie asked as I began to pour her a cup. I laughed a little. "Yeah, he did." I placed the cup in front of her. "What are you blushing for?" Sadie observed. "What are you on about? I'm not bloody blushing." I sat down across from her. "Whatever." Sadie rolled her eyes and blew on her coffee. "I'm a fuckin' fag." I blurted out. Sadie raised her eyebrows. "Did you sleep with him?" She asked. "No, he would only kiss me, the fuckin' tease." I chuckled. "Somethin' about him Sadie." I shook my head as I spoke. "I can see it. But you know you have to keep it on the down low at work... You are his superior, you know." Sadie observed as she moved her long brown hair out of her face. "I know. Fuck, think I'm bloody fallin' for him Sade." I admitted, shaking my head again. "That's fuckin' adorable. I slept with his best mate, Harrison, last night." Sadie giggled as her face turned red. "No fuckin' way! That little child?!" I laughed. "He's amazing, John. I really like him." She admitted. "Apparently so, gettin' him into the sack on the first date. My my, Sadie. You've changed!" I laughed some more and she shoved my arm a bit. "Nah I'm only teasin'." I stopped laughing and smiled at her. "I am sorry about yesterday." I told her again. "I know. Thanks for the coffee, I'm going to meet George." She stood up as I did, and we hugged. "Love ya." I muttered as she walked out the door. "I know, Lennon." She laughed and left. 

I lied down on the couch and realized it had already been two hours since Paul had gone home. 

_John: What are you doing?_

_Paul: Relaxing. This is my only day off for a while._

_John: I want to see you again._

_Paul: You know where I live, sir._

I chuckled at his last message. I decided I would be soft and walk to the corner shop to get flowers, and go to Paul's. I bought a bouquet of pink carnations and arrived at his home. I knocked shyly, knowing this was extremely out of character for me. Paul opened the door and instantly smiled. I looked at him from behind the bouquet of flowers. "Bloody hell," Paul chuckled and grabbed my wrist, pulling me into his house. As soon as the door closed he embraced me in a kiss. "Lovely flowers." He observed. "Oh these aren't for you. I've got the wrong house." I joked. "Bugger off, Lennon." Paul laughed, leading me into his cold sitting room. "Hey, that's my line, McCartney." I chuckled too, following him. I handed him the flowers and he disappeared briefly, coming back into the sitting room with the flowers in a vase. "So, Lennon." Paul smiled. "So, McCartney." He shifted closer to me with a smile on his face. I smiled too, and pulled him closer so he was under my arm. "Netflix?" He offered. "Aye." I kissed his temple and smiled against his soft skin.  We sat in each other's embrace, watching the silly movies Paul had picked for hours. 

He fit against my body like the perfect missing piece of my broken puzzle.

 


	7. Whatever Gets You Thru The Night

A/N: there might be some trigger warnings, so please read but be aware. (mentions of suicide and mental illness).

Dr. McCartney

I woke up on the couch alone to the loud alarm on my phone. I turned it off without looking at the screen, and checked my pager. Nothing. Which was odd, since I was suppose to start my shift at the hospital in less than 45 minutes. I quickly showered and made a tea, thinking of the lovely evening I had spent with John, who I would soon have to return to calling Dr. Lennon. I wanted to tell Jane and George, but I supposed that was an in person topic, not so much an over text kind of thing. I remembered I may have missed a few messages and checked my phone quickly as I sipped my tea, a single piece of wet hair dangling in my face. 

_John: Looking forward to seeing you, Dr. McCartney._

I smiled at the message and quickly locked my phone, remembering I was running rather late. I threw my half full cup of tea in the sink, and headed out the door. It was a brisk, rainy day in Liverpool, nothing new to me. I drove to the hospital and made it to the nurses station just in time to run into John - or, sorry, Dr. Lennon. "Nice of you to join us, Dr. McCartney." He winked as he spoke. I saw Sadie grin as I blushed, he must have told her. "Good morning, Dr. Lennon." I smirked and walked into the doctors lounge to change into my scrubs and white coat. John walked in behind me and closed the door, peering around to ensure that we were in fact alone. "You're tempting, you know." He growled as I put on my white coat. "How are you feeling? Y'know, being back and all." I asked, hoping I wasn't about to get a sarcastic comment. "I'm fine. Everybody is treating me like a sick puppy, so the arsehole Dr. Lennon has been unleashed, just giving you a fair warning." John told me as he put his hand in my white coat pocket flirtatiously. "I'll keep that in mind." I chuckled before we were interrupted by Richard, opening the door and walking in. John quickly pounced away from me and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Welcome back, Dr. Lennon." Richard said nervously as he put his white coat on. "Ta," John snarled a bit as he walked out of the doctors lounge. "Think he's okay?" Richard asked me. "I think so." I nodded, a smile still imprinted on my face. We exited the doctor's lounge and headed to the nurse's station. I grabbed the charts under J.P. McCartney, and examined them. "Slow day." Sadie said with her back turned to me. "Looks like it." Richard agreed. We both only had three or four charts - a very unusual occurrence. I checked to make sure all of the patients I had been assigned were on that floor, and luckily they were. I knew John was assigned to patients on that floor too, and I couldn't decide whether or not I was happy about that or concerned. I knew I would be worried about him all day, but as a professional, my patients and career always came first. I examined my surroundings, and just as I was about to approach my first patient's room, George and John caught my eye. They both had a weird look on their face, and suddenly John slammed the chart he had been holding down onto the opposing side of the nurses station, and he stormed off. George immediately made eye contact with Sadie and shook his head, looking concerned. "Bloody hell, here we go." Sadie mumbled as the three of us waited for George to approach us. "What happened?" I asked, almost too eagerly. "He totally froze..." George said, stunned as Sadie wrapped an arm around his waist. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I asked him how he wanted me to proceed with treatment of Danny. Y'know, keep him on the same medication or move on to a different one to see if it would work. He froze, like a puppy with his tail between his legs. I think he was scared to make the call, Sade." George explained. My heart was beating quite fast, worrying for John. "Give him time. In the meantime, find another attending to make the call." Sadie told George. Richard and I were silent, unaware of how to approach the situation. "I need to check on my patients." I finally broke the silence. "You're not going to check on him?" Sadie asked me. "No. You just said he needs time, plus, why would he want his  _resident_  to check on him?" I asked, with a rather rude tone as I set down all my charts but one and walked away. I did want to check on John, obviously, but I couldn't let him distract me from what I was meant to do. Be a doctor, not someone's boyfriend. The chart I had was for an 11 year old boy, Jo Jo, who had leukaemia. He had just started treatment, and my job was to make sure he stayed stable. I walked into his room to meet him and his mother. "Good morning Jo Jo! My name is Dr. McCartney, and I'll be taking care of you." I smiled at the poor sickly boy. The mother stood up, and stuck out her hand. "My name is Loretta, I'm Jo Jo's Mum." She had a thick accent when she spoke. "My pleasure. How are we feeling today?" I asked Jo Jo. "Tired." He sighed. "Ah right. Get some rest, I'll come back and check on you in a couple of hours. Deal?" I stuck my hand up for a high five. The child smiled and hit my hand. "Alright!" I grinned and walked over to my remaining charts. The other patients were all asleep, so I checked their vitals and IV bags. Richard was doing the same thing. It was a quiet morning for us. And after a couple of hours, my cellphone buzzed. 

_John: Come to room 267._

I raised an eyebrow and looked around for the room. When I walked in, John was holding the tube from an IV bag, allowing the liquid to fly about the room. He was swaying back and forth, and his eyes were wandering. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was absolutely knackered. "Can you give me some trouble, I'm having some help over here!" John said, slurring each one of the words that came out of his drunk mouth. I stared at him, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I couldn't speak. Thankfully, Sadie came in after me. "John Winston Lennon, get your fucking ass home." She said as she put her arm around him and guided him out of the room. Thankfully, the patient was asleep or else we would've had a lawsuit. I stood in that spot for at least five minutes before shaking my head and leaving the room and walking over to the nurses station. Sadie was talking to Dr. Epstein. I knew that conversation wasn't going well, based on how red her face was. "Dr. McCartney." Dr. Epstein summoned me over. "Sir," I nodded at him. "I'm going to keep this from the board of directors. John is the best attending we have, and I'm not loosing him. You and Sadie are to be on his watch 24/7 and I don't care if it conflicts with your shifts, we will have them covered and you will be paid. I don't want this getting out and around the hospital." He told us. "I'm not a fan on the whole drinking and doctoring thing, sir." I tried to object, not wanting to face John at that point. 

"You will do as I say, McCartney." Dr. Epstein said, hell he was intimidating. "Yes, sir." I nodded, watching Sadie's eyes fill with tears as Dr. Epstein walked away from us. I pulled her into a hug and she immediately let herself break down into my chest. "It's going to be fine, Sadie." I said quietly, noticing Richard and George watching us from the other end of the nurses station. "I've never seen him this bad before, Paul. I'm scared for him." Sadie continued to cry. "Why are you scared?" I asked, pulling her away to look into her eyes. She looked down at the floor, and I picked her chin up with my finger. "Why?" I asked again. "He's tried to kill himself before, Paul." She said seriously. My heart nearly stopped at the words, but for some reason, it didn't surprise me. The man was lonely. "Do you think he's in trouble?" I asked. She could only nod. "Do you want to go see him first?" I asked. "No." She shook her head. "I suppose I will. Did someone take him home?" I assumed someone had. "One of the orderlies. I'll have Richard and George cover your patients." She nodded as she spoke, worried for her friend. "Stay strong Sade. I'll text you." I kissed her cheek, and headed to John's without even changing into my street clothes. 

I stood in front of his house for a few moments, preparing myself for what was on the other side of that door. I knocked. "C'min!" I heard a drunk yelp from the inside. I opened the door and kicked off my shoes. Hell, I didn't want to see him. There he was, sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand and two bottles on the table. One was completely empty, and one was on it's way there. "Ah, there he is. The super star, my hero back to save the poor little Dr. Lennon from his drunken stupor." John was extremely rude as he spoke. "Have a drink!" He said as he gestured his glass toward the bottle of scotch. "I'm on the clock, Lennon." I said, sitting down in the chair across from him. "Ah," He waved his hand at me as if it didn't matter. "Not much to look up to as a teacher now, am I?" He chuckled, I barely understood the words that came out of his mouth. I shook my head, unsure of what to say. "Best start callin' me Mr. Lennon!" John laughed at himself. "How pathetic is that, Paul? I couldn't even decide on which route I wanted to do treatment on that kid. Scared little Lennon, s'what they'll call me. Yer mate Harrison must've had a good laugh, I know I have." John still kept laughing at himself. "Enough, John." I said sternly. His eyes shot up at me. "Little bit of attitude, McCartney?" He still kept chuckling as he drank his scotch. "Put the bloody drink down and grow the fuck up. Y'know Sadie was scared y'were gonna kill yer damn self? She's scared shitless. Left her a mess, you did." I started to feel a ball of anger heat up in my stomach. "She'll be fine." John finally got serious as he spoke. "She's worried about  _you,_ John." I said, ready to explode at him. "Well she won't be the one to find me this time, will she?" John said, his eyes filled with rage. "Yer fuckin' horrible." I snapped, standing up. "I'm fuckin' horrible? This damn  _world_ is horrible, McCartney. Welcome to the fuckin' world of medicine. I fuckin' told ye that it'll keep fuckin' kickin' ye down when yer tryin' t'save lives, didn't I? It'll keep fuckin' doin' it until it takes yer own damn life." John stood up too, getting rather close to my face. "You're letting this happen. You're letting yourself feel this way." I snarled back. "Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Almighty, I'm letting my own mental illness effect my  _own_ life. How dare I?" John got even closer, I could smell the alcohol off him strongly now. "You don't need a teacher like me around. Fuckin' leave, McCartney." He almost pressed his nose against mine before sitting back down. I sat back down too, knowing he didn't actually want me to leave. 

"Y'know, Lennon. You are an amazing doctor. I strive to be like you... But, a more successful you."

 


	8. Tug Of War

A/N: will be mentions of suicide and I apologize for the amount of dialogue but please enjoy :) 

Dr. Lennon

It took me a few moments to register in my drunken brain what Paul had just said. But when it did register, it rang in my head over and over. I stayed silent, sipping on my drink and feeling absolutely pathetic. "John?" Paul finally broke the silence, pouring a glass for himself. "Thought you were on the clock." I managed to say, without choking up or loosing my mind on him for uttering such shite to me. A more successful me? I didn't fucking think so. "Dr. Epstein told me to stay with you. So..." Paul shrugged his shoulders and took a long swig. "Oh, so you're only here on that rat bastard's orders." I spat back at him. "Yeah, John. I didn't want to see you." Paul said, being brutally honest. I didn't respond, I just sucked back my drink. "Showing up drunk to work is one thing, but coming to a hospital to be a fuckin' doctor absolutely knackered? Jesus, Lennon." Paul scolded me. "I don't need yer fuckin' speech, McCartney. You can bloody leave." I shook my head as I spoke, hoping he wouldn't actually leave. I wanted his company, I just didn't know how to show it. Not when I felt like that. "I already told you I'm not leaving, John. So shut yer smart mouth, and appreciate my company." Paul said as he plopped down on the couch beside me, shimmying his white coat off his shoulders and lying it on the couch beside him. He pulled out his cellphone, and I casually looked over his shoulder to see it. "You're very obvious, you know." Paul chuckled, showing me his phone. Multiple messages from Sadie. "She needs to calm down." I shook my head and poured another glass for myself and Paul. "She's obviously worried. Shoot her a message." Paul said, setting his phone down on the coffee table. I sighed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. 

_John: Sade, I'm sorry. Paul is here.. Try not to worry, I will be okay._

I hit send and showed Paul. "Happy now?" I slurred my words again, realizing just how drunk I really was. Paul only nodded, leaning back on the couch. "Can I ask you a question?" He finally said. "You just did." I smirked and leaned back beside him. "Bugger off." Paul actually let a small smile slip out of the side of his mouth, and it was captivating. "What's yer question?" I asked, watching his plump lips. "Why'd ye try to kill yourself?" Paul said quietly, making eye contact with me using his hypnotizing doe eyes.  I sighed, I should've felt uncomfortable by the question but I didn't. I felt comfortable with Paul, and I think he knew it. "It was after my mate Stuart died. I was his doctor, but I was just a resident at the time. We didn't think he was in deadly condition until I prescribed him the wrong medication. His body rejected it and he had a brain aneurysm. Like the situation we just had, that was my fault. I had to go to a mortality hearing, in which you're judged by your peers as to whether or not there was anything you've done that could've lead to the patients death. Unfortunately, my peers voted that I had fucked up, and the death of my friend was my fault." I paused to pour myself a drink, slamming it back in one large gulp and pouring myself another. Paul looked at me with patient eyes, listening intently. "I was suspended. Luckily, Stu's parents and girlfriend didn't want to sue me because they knew I didn't mean it. I was close with them. The reason Sadie is so worried is because like now, I got on the drink hard. She came over to check on me and I had overdosed on cocaine. I know, cocaine, I'm a smart doctor." I noticed how I had just began pouring my soul out to the poor man sitting next to me. "Shit I'm sorry, Paul." I said, drunk to the point of feeling sober again. "Don't apologize, John. I asked." Paul set his hand on my knee, and I felt the familiar completeness of his touch. 

"This isn't like that, though. You're not at a mortality hearing, and even if you were, everybody would know you made the right call. You're insecure..." Paul observed, I stared down at his hand on my knee as his thumb began moving back and forth, rubbing my knee sympathetically. "I know it's not like that, Paul. It's just a reoccurring thing, y'know? Bad decision after bad decision. I can't be the reason any more people die. That's not why I became a doctor." I told him, not taking my eyes off his beautiful hand. Wow, was I drunk. I had never been so vulnerable with anybody before. "I know what you're saying, John. I just don't want to see you throw this away. You're shockingly good at your job, a few mistakes don't diminish that." Paul told me, about to pull his hand off my knee. I stopped him quickly and entwined our fingers. "I let you down, Paul." I mumbled, not looking at him. "You gotta get off the drink, love." My heart skipped a beat at the nickname. "You can't tell me that when you've got one in yer hand." I chuckled, trying to keep my signature Lennon attitude present. "Very true." Paul chuckled too. "So, Sadie found ye then?" Paul asked, referring back to the depressing topic of my almost-suicide. I nodded. "Aye. Came over and I was pretty much dead on the bathroom floor." I pointed to the bathroom with my cup as I spoke, not wanting to pull my other hand away from Paul's. "No wonder she's so worried." Paul said, shaking his head and taking a sip of his drink. "She's a great mate." I nodded, feeling a small lump grow in my throat. "She loves you a lot." Paul told me, as if to convince me. "Not sure why. I've caused trouble for her, much more trouble than she deserves." I almost argued with him. My phone buzzed. 

_Sadie: I love you, you daft sod._

I smiled at the message and felt the lump in my throat grow. "You okay?" Paul asked, squeezing my hand. I flashed the text at him and he smiled. "Told ye." He said, smugly. "Why aren't you two together?" Paul asked, almost awkwardly considering we had been holding hands. "I think you know why, Paul." I began slurring my words again. "We tried dating when I started at Sgt. Pepper's, I was completely in love with her. But we grew so close, y'know, working together, that she became like a sister to me. I'd be gone without her." I sighed as I spoke, pouring another drink. "Slow down the drinks, John love." Paul smiled as he took the glass out of my hand and set it down on the table. "What are your intentions, here?" I blurted out, too drunk to care at that point. "Uh, I'm not sure I know what you mean." Paul played dumb. "Come off it, McCartney. What's this about?" I said, holding up our hands. "'Mm." Paul grunted and pulled his hand away from mine. "Well? I want to bloody know!" I said, almost a stammering drunk. "Drop the arse hole Dr. Lennon act, it's not going to work on me." Paul shot me down, and it was almost exciting how he stood up to me. "I'm sorry, I've just never had a mate that snogs me and holds my hand." I shrugged, reaching for the glass again. Paul slapped my hand playfully. "Lay off it." He grinned. "I don't really know if I have an answer for you, John." He added, getting a bit more serious. 

"You don't always need answers." Paul said, intertwining his fingers with mine again. I was taken aback by his statement. As a doctor, we always needed answers. "Whaddya mean? Paul, as doctors we're literally trained to find answers." I retorted, expecting some kind of smart ass answer. "I don't mean like that, John. I mean in real life. Stuff like this. If you're happy, if it's going well... why question it?" Paul raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm clearly not happy." I blurted out. It had nothing to do with him, in fact the only happiness I had felt was when he was near me. "We'll get you out of this." Paul smiled, and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I felt my cheeks burn a crimson red, there was that damned vulnerability again. "You're scared, aren't you?" Paul asked as he used his free hand to move hair out of my face. "No." I lied. Of course I was bloody scared. Here I was, drunk out of my mind, sitting next to my resident, who dare I say it, I was falling for. "You're scared because you've been left behind, abandoned, so many times that you're worried I'll do the same if you let me in." Paul observed. Hell, that kid could read me. "Bit up on yerself, aren't ya?" I tried to distract him from the fact that he was indeed correct. "Lennon." Paul raised both his eyebrows. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." I said, looking back over to my drink. Oh, how I wanted to drink it all. I knew Paul would object, however. "How come you've gotta be drunk to let this stuff out?" Paul asked, pulling his hand away from me and crossing his arms and legs. "I'm a bloody drunk, and I don't like showing my true colours or feelings." I admitted, successfully grabbing my drink without interruption or objection from Paul. "I don't believe that." Paul shook his head, uncrossing his arms and relaxing back into the couch. "What?" I looked at him with a puzzled expression on my drunken face. "I think you enjoy the vulnerability, the openness. You've never had that before, and I think as much as you'd hate to admit it, you're a pretty dependent person who has done everything in their power to try and seem like an independent prick who hates everybody." Paul analyzed the living shit out of me. "Are you a medical doctor or a bloody psychologist?" I said, starting to feel defensive.

"No I'm not a bloody psychologist, John. I can just read you." Paul shrugged. "You don't know everything." I argued with him. "But am I wrong?" Paul asked, shifting closer to me. "What's your deal then, Paul? You clearly know mine." I said, crossing my legs up on the couch and facing him. "Nothin'. I'm an insecure kid whose trying to be a doctor." Paul shrugged again, crossing his legs and facing me as well. "Who didn't know he was a queer?" I added, raising an eyebrow at him. "Apparently so." Paul said quietly, chuckling. He began playing with my hand, twiddling my fingers and rubbing my palm. "Guess I'm just a sucker for someone in power." He said in a hushed tone, looking down at my hands. "You should hop on Dr. Epstein's boat then, I've got no power." I chuckled, wanting nothing more than to kiss the living hell out of the younger man. "Not interested." Paul shook his head and locked eyes with me. "Are you gonna pull out of this?" He asked me, as I felt his face creep closer to mine. "Of course." I answered in a whisper. "I'm not gonna let you in either, if you're just gonna fuck off on me, or y'know, kill yerself." Paul added, looking back down at my hands insecurely. "Ah, someone else is afraid of abandonment." I tried to sound as soothing as possible as I joked with him. He let out a large sigh to let me know he was serious. 

"Paul, I promise you. If you let me in, I'm never letting go."

 


	9. Cold Turkey

Dr. McCartney

John had passed out on the couch, and had now been sleeping for 11 hours. My pager had been going off the hook, but after almost every single one I would receive a page from Dr. Epstein or Sadie saying someone had covered it. That drove me absolutely nuts, I hated not knowing what was going on with my patients and even more so, what was going on at the hospital. John had told me he would never let me go if I let him in, and then proceeded to lay down and pass out on the couch before I could answer, leaving me speechless. I had carried him up the stairs to his bed, and slept on the couch myself. Now, I walked around the sitting room admiring his little knick knacks. John had a whole wall strictly dedicated to his books. It was an entire wall of books. It made me smile to myself, because I knew there was so much more to John than what meets the eye. 

_George: The hell is going on mate? Sadie won't tell me._

I ignored George's message, respecting the privacy of John and the orders of Dr. Epstein. I looked around the room some more, finding a few framed photos. One was an old black and white, which I assumed was John's Mother. She was absolutely gorgeous. Another photo was of John and Sadie. It looked like they were sitting in the pub that John had taken me to on my first day. John was sitting on a bar stool with his head flung back, laughing. Sadie sat on his lap, laughing hysterically as well. I smiled at the photo, it showed how much love the two had for one another. It showed that John could be a happy man, and that he was just struggling right now. I began to think of how I came into John's life at such an odd time. He was rocky, and up and down. I had been there for him during the bad times, and had also helped him realize the reason he was not very successful with the birds. I had been staring at the picture of John and Sadie for quite some time before I was startled by a voice. "Lovely night, that was." I quickly put the photo down and spun around, clutching my chest to find Sadie standing in the doorway of the sitting room. "Bloody hell, you scared me." I sighed when I realized it was her.

Sadie walked over to me and put her hand on my forearm, grabbing the photo of her and her best friend. "This is the John I know." She said quietly. I nodded, unsure of how to respond. She set the photo down and sat down on the couch, gesturing for me to sit down next to her. "How's the hospital?" I asked, realizing how much I had been itching to get back there. I lived for the art of doctoring, I lived for saving lives. "Not bad. It hasn't been too exciting, nor busy. How's John?" Sadie asked, she obviously had been holding that question in with so much difficulty that she had been bursting at the seams. "He was drunk. We talked a few hours, then I took him to bed and passed out on the couch meself." I explained, hoping that was satisfying enough for her. "You can go home, if you'd like. I can stay here with him." Sadie offered. "I don't particularly want to leave, but I know you two need some time. I can respect that." I nodded as I spoke, knowing she needed to get some things off of her chest as well as knowing John needed to have his best friend during this time.

"I'll swing by the hospital." I said, almost smiling at the thought of being back in that building. "No, no, no. Dr. Epstein gave me strict orders to send you home." Sadie shook her head back and forth. "Bloody hell, he can't keep me away from my soddin' job. I have patients." I furrowed my eyebrows. "I know." Sadie said, checking her watch. "Actually, you know.. It's nearly 3pm. Dr. Epstein won't be back to Sgt. Pepper's until tomorrow morning. He's got meetings." Sadie smirked, knowing fully that I would take full advantage of the opening. I stood up and straightened my clothing out. I looked toward the stairs, knowing John was up there sleeping. I felt an ache in my heart because I was about to leave him again. I hated that. "I'll take care of him, Paul." Sadie said in a hushed tone. I nodded thankfully and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you soon. Let me know if you need anything." I told her before heading out the door, making my way back to the hospital. 

_Jane: So, Dr. Sgt Pepper McCartney is too good for me now?_

I read the message as I stood outside the front entrance of the hospital. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I'd seen Jane. I felt a twang of guilt shoot through my body. But as all doctors know, the hospital comes first. I walked into the hospital and felt almost every pair of eyes on me. Word on John being on leave must have spread, but I wasn't quite sure why I was being stared at. I went upstairs to where my patients were and checked on them all. "McCartney!" I heard Richard behind me. I smiled and waved at him. "How's Dr. Lennon?" He asked, leaning against the wall beside me. "Thanks luv," I thanked a nurse as she handed me the test results to Mr. Desmond's tests. "How should I know?" I tried to chuckle as I focused my attention back to Richard. "Ah come off it. We all know you're his lap-doctor." Richard tried to joke. It felt nice to have my spirits lifted by a friend. "Am not. Not my fault I'm a better doctor than you!" I joked back with him. "Lovely day though, isn't it?" Richard said as we began walking toward the coffee machine behind the nurses station. I nodded, smiling in agreement. Richard and I chatted, discussed diagnosis' of some of his patients that he couldn't quite catch, and he told me about his life. We laughed and actually had a good afternoon. I began to feel as though things were looking up for myself, just based on Richard's positive attitude. I knew John still needed some more work and some more help, but at that moment I truly felt happy for myself. Richard was a good colleague. "Thanks mate." I smiled as I looked at him. "For?" He looked at me with his huge blue eyes and a puzzled expression. "Your positivity makes me feel better. It's contagious." I laughed, watching a smile grow across Richard's face. 

"I guess I should go talk to Mr. Desmond." I said, remembering the test results in my hand. Richard nodded and waved as I walked toward my patients room, a smile on my face. But, even a positive mood and positive vibes passed along by a colleague can be ruined simply by somebody handing you a chart. I stood at the end of Mr. Desmond's bed, with a sunken heart and crushed soul. "Do you have any family, sir?" I asked softly. Mr. Desmond chuckled. "No. I was married twice, divorced one and one died. Wrong one died.." Mr. Desmond responded. I felt a small lump in my throat as he spoke. "Look, sir. You have something called systemic amyloidosis. It's in your liver now, but it will eventually shut down all of your organs. There's a treatment, but it is extremely invasive, and at best it will just give you more time." I told him, watching the expression on his face fade to absolute disgust and sadness. "Thank you for everything Dr. McCartney." Mr. Desmond tried to smile. "Do you need some time alone?" I asked, trying to respect the man. Mr. Desmond could only nod, as he watched me stand up and head out of his room slowly. 

Richard stood at the nurses station, with a very obvious sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry." Richard said as I leaned on the counter, burying my face in my hands. "Crazy how much emotional whiplash there is working in a place like this." Richard went on, trying to get me to speak. I nodded, with my face still buried in my hands. "I do what I can." I sighed, trying to remind myself of the rush of saving a life. They were two extremes: Giving someone a death sentence and saving someone's life. As a doctor, you just had to hope to God that you saved enough lives to make it easier when someone wasn't going to make it. "There's always going to be days like these." I tried to smile. "You're doing just fine, Paul." Richard touched my shoulder before walking away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Almost on cue, my phone vibrated. 

_John: I'm sorry if I said anything amiss last night. I do remember what I said before I fell asleep though, and I meant it._

I read the message at least six times over, feeling my stomach fill with butterflies. I couldn't focus on John, though. I was already scared he was getting in my head to much. I was a doctor, that was all I was and that was all I wanted to be. I locked my phone and slid it back into my pocket. "Dr. McCartney?" I heard a posh voice come from behind me. I spun around and was quickly met by the piercing eyes of one Dr. Brian Epstein. I was shocked to see him due to the fact that Sadie had reported he was going to be gone until the next morning, and because I knew I wasn't suppose to be at the hospital under his orders. "H-hello, sir." I managed to stutter the words out. "Why are you here?" Dr. Epstein asked, cutting to the chase. "I needed a break from Jo-, Dr. Lennon, sir. There is only so much I can do as his resident." I lied through my teeth. "I wanted to be back here with my patients." I added a touch of complete truthfulness. "He's my best doctor, you know." Dr. Epstein's face softened as he began pouring himself and I cup of coffee. "Black?" He asked, pointing to the cup. I nodded and thanked him as he slid the cup in front of me. I checked my pager, realizing it had been getting quite late. The sun was most likely already down. 

"Not very busy tonight." Dr. Epstein was trying to make small talk. "No sir. The emergency room is seemingly empty, just working with the patients that have already been admitted." I told him, blow on my hot black coffee. "Is he okay?" Dr. Epstein finally asked as I sat down in the computer chair next to him, observing my floor and the patients within it. "Well, he wasn't great when I was with him last night. I left this afternoon, so I don't know how he's doing now. Sadie would know, though." I told him, starting to actually feel comfortable talking to the man who was in charge of the entire hospital. Dr. Epstein sighed, resting his head back on the chair. "That man. He will be the death of me one of these days." He tried to chuckle, but I knew that he was serious. "Be careful, Paul." Dr. Epstein said. The use of my first name startled me. "Of?" I asked, nervously. "John." He chuckled. He actually chuckled. "What does that mean?" I asked, almost a  little too snarky. 

"He is very independent, Paul. You may think you're working your way in, but he will push you away and pretend you were nothing more than a spec of dirt on his shoe to him. So, I thank you for helping me put him back on his feet, but I'm also warning you. Don't fall for his tricks."

 


	10. Take It Away

Dr. Lennon

"You gonna stop drinking any time soon?" Sadie asked me as she walked in the front door. She looked around to find me sitting on the couch alone, with no bottle in sight. "No drink! It's a miracle." She flopped down beside me on the couch. "Where's McCartney? He's suppose to be here when I can't be." She raised an eyebrow at me. "Didn't show." I shrugged. I had been sitting all day fighting with my thoughts on whether or not I should go back to the hospital today. "You're sober, then?" Sadie asked, moving a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Aye." I nodded and half smiled. "I think I'm ready to go back." I didn't take my eyes off her as I spoke. I watched her smile grow from ear to ear.  "You think so?" I could hear a hint of doubt in her voice. "I know you probably don't think I'm ready, but I think I am." I said, sitting up straight. "You gotta do this for you, John. Not for me, not for Paul, for you." Sadie reminded me. "I know that." I nodded. "Why don't you go have a shower, clean yerself up, and then ride to the hospital with me?" Sadie asked as she stood up. I nodded again. "I'm going to steal some breakfast while you do that." She smirked and headed into my kitchen. I walked into the bathroom and stripped my clothes, I stared at my reflection for a few moments. I noticed how my once toned body was now looking scrawny and unfed. I sighed and reached for my mobile.

_John: I'm coming in to work._

_Paul: That's nice..._

_John: What's got you so stroppy?_

_Paul: I'm sure Dr. Epstein could fill you in._

I raised my eyebrow in confusion at the last message Paul had sent. But, I had to remind myself that this wasn't something I needed to focus nor concern myself with. I needed to focus on getting back on my feet and getting back to work. I knew the pity from my colleagues was going to be absolute hell, but it would be worth it to be back in the hospital with my patients. As I stepped under the hot water, my mind drifted back to Paul. I wondered what Brian had said to him to make him upset with me. It couldn't have anything to do with Brian having a crush on me, why would Paul be upset about something so old and silly? 

_"I didn't give you the promotion for nothing, you know." Brian said as he locked the door to the doctors lounge. "I hardly think hiring me as an attending is considered a promotion, Brian. You hired me as a full-time doctor after my residency finished. Hardly a promotion." I repeated myself. Before I knew it I felt Brian's hands on my hips. "So you've been playing games with me, then?" Brian squeezed on my hips. I rolled my eyes as I spun around to look at him. "I've done nothing of the sort." I said as I pried his hands off of me. "Ah, so the flirting and little looks have meant absolutely nothing to you?" Brian asked, trying to pin me against the lockers. "Absolutely nothing. I'm just here to work." I said, pushing him off of me and walking toward the door. "Fuck you, John." Brian spat from behind me. "You what?" I spun around. "You play these little games and made me feel like you wanted me, like you needed me. I was there for you when you needed me." Brian was choking up now. I didn't say anything. I knew he felt like I played him, and if we were being honest, I was. I used him because he had feelings for me._

_"You've got nothing to say then? Just going to crawl back into the closet?" Brian was stepping closer to me. "I never said I was queer." I snapped back. "Please John. The nights you drunkenly fall asleep on my lap or in my arms. Kissing me. That's not queer?" Brian sat down, obviously hoping I would too. I did not. "Not queer." I shook my head, looking down at my feet. "What now, then?" Brian sounded calmer now. "What do you mean?" I asked, hoping he would stay that way. "Are you just going to wait until the next lad comes along to make you feel better when you need them to? Make them fall in love with you and then toss them to the side when you've gotten all you've wanted out of them? You use people, John. Perhaps if you weren't so scared you'd be able to stop pushing people who care about you away." Brian stood up and pushed passed me, out the door._

"John? You okay?" I heard Sadie knock the door, interrupting my awkward memory. "Y-yeah, I'm comin' out now." I called back to her, realizing there was shampoo dripping into my eyes. I squinted and rinsed myself off, and crawled out of the shower. There was no way in hell Brian would tell Paul something like that, it would put Brian's career as the Chief of Medicine at risk and he knew it. Perhaps he thought I was playing the same trick on Paul as I did on him. I couldn't do such a thing. Something about Paul was different, and I knew it. I was over thinking at that point, though. It could've just as easily been something to do with a patient. I walked into my bedroom, followed closely by Sadie. "I'm changing, y'know." I said, gesturing down to the towel wrapped around my waist. "I won't peak." Sadie laughed and looked down at her now twiddling thumbs, sitting on my bed. I grabbed my clothing and started putting it on, one item at a time. I needed to take my time. "Still seein' that Harrison lad?" I asked as I pulled on my trousers."That's what you think about when you're naked?" Sadie chuckled. "Come off it." I rolled my eyes at her. "Kinda, yeah. It's hard with an intern, y'know. Our shifts are so different." Sadie finally answered me after her small giggle fit. I simply nodded before putting on my shirt, taking my time on each button. 

"Perfectionist John is back, I see." Sadie observed. "Ay, I thought you said you weren't going to peak?" I said back quickly. "Kinda hard not to peak when you look like you haven't eaten in a bloody year, John Lennon." Sadie began scolding. "I'm not going to come with you if you're just going to try and mother me." I said, finishing up my shirt buttons. "Let's go." Sadie said as she stood up. I took a deep breath and followed her out of the bedroom, and made our way out to her car. I sat in the passenger seat and gazed out the window as she started it. "Are you sure you're ready?" She asked softly as if not to startle me. "I'm fine, Sade." I said back with the same tone of softness. "Let's go then." Sadie smiled as she repeated her self, putting the car into gear and driving away from my house. As we drove by Paul's, I nearly missed it. I turned my entire body to see whether or not his car was in the driveway. Still couldn't see, though. "Don't worry about him." Sadie muttered, not taking her eyes off the road. "Why?" I asked, almost too rudely. "Because John. I like Paul a lot and I don't really want to see you hurt him." Sadie snapped back. "What makes you think my intentions are to hurt him?" I sounded offended at this point. "Because I know you John. You'll let him in and get close to him, make him feel needed and then fuck off. That's exactly what you did to Brian." Sadie said, referring to the touchy subject. "That was different. I needed the damn job, he knew what he was getting into." I defended myself stubbornly. 

"John, I think you knew what you were getting into with our gay Chief of Medicine and used it to your advantage." Sadie sighed as she pulled into a parking space. "Got me a job out of it, didn't I? And he got the best damned attending doctor in all of England." I said as-a-matter-of-factly. "What are you going to get out of doing this to Paul, though? Is it because you're threatened by his talent as a doctor?" Sadie said, putting the car in park and turning to face me as she undid her seat belt. "Jesus Christ, Sadie. Did you ever think maybe I'm doing this because I actually like the bloke?" I rolled my eyes as I spoke. "Quite unlike you." She said, looking back at the steering wheel. "I do like him. I like him a lot, actually. I'm not trying to get rid of him, or gain anything from this. I like him." I said, trying to soften my already angry-sounding voice. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Sadie sounded sincere now. She opened her door and crawled out, I took my time opening the door and crawled out slowly after her. "First things first, we're going to the cafeteria to get you some food." Sadie ordered, gesturing the way into the hospital. I knew there was no arguing with her there, so I complied. We went into the cafeteria and got some sandwiches, and sat down. "I thought you stole some breakfast from my flat?" I asked with a mouthful. "Well, that was the plan until I opened your fridge. Baking soda and one egg, really good diet you've got." Sadie chuckled before taking a ginormous bite of her sandwich. "Well I can't very well afford liquor and groceries, now can I?" I joked. "On your salary, you can afford a lot of both." Sadie raised an eyebrow. 

As I took another bite, I noticed Paul in the line up standing next to George. Paul had a tray with a small sandwich and a cup of coffee. He looked absolutely exhausted. Sadie had noticed me staring and kicked my shin under the table. "You could be a lot less creepy about it, y'know." She laughed, before waving George over. George smiled and pointed us out to Paul, who immediately made eye contact with me. His facial expression didn't change at all though, causing a twang of upset in my heart. George sat down next to me, facing Sadie, and Paul sat down next to Sadie, facing me. "How's it going?" I asked Paul shyly. "Lovely. And yourself?" Paul asked, sipping on his coffee. I could feel George and Sadie staring at us, probably sensing the same tension that Paul and I had felt. "Good." I said quietly, looking back down to my sandwich. "Paul's been here for 27 hours, can you believe that? The stubborn bugger just won't go home to bed." George said, trying to ease the tension with a topic change. "I've got work to do." Paul said simply, before taking a small bite of his sandwich. He didn't really look hungry, he just looked like he, like myself, had been forced into eating. "You need rest, Paul." I told him, looking back up at his hazy doe eyes. "I think I'm just fine, Dr. Lennon." Paul said back, his tone not changing. I was taken aback, glancing over at Sadie, who could only shrug. "Know your limit, Paul." Sadie said, finally chiming in on the awkward and forced conversation. "I know, Sade. Thank you." Paul looked at her sweetly. I felt extremely offended, but as Sadie had said before, perhaps I shouldn't worry about him at the moment. 

"Well, I'm off. Sadie?" George said as he stood up. "Right behind you!" Sadie said, standing up quickly after George. I shot her a look, and she just smiled and waved as the two of them walked away. Paul and I sat in utter silence for what seemed like an eternity, both of us taking turns staring at each other and picking at our sandwiches. Finally, Paul yawned. "They're right y'know." I said, quietly. "I know." Paul nodded. "Need a ride?" I asked, not long after remembering that Sadie had driven her car, not mine. "Not from you, no." Paul said, looking down and pulling out his phone. "So, you hate me now? You've got to keep me posted on your daily mood swings toward me, love." I said, trying to joke with him. His eyes immediately shot up and locked with mine, and he looked angry. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes looked dark. "Well? What is it then?" I asked, trying to place my hand on top of his. He quickly pulled away. "Brian told me." He said, much louder than he should have. My heart skipped a beat, and not in a good way. "Told you what? You know that Epstein is a damn arse. Why believe anything that comes out of his mouth?" I asked, trying to seem nonchalant. "I think you know what I'm referring to, John. Just let me go home and sleep. Come over after your shift if you want to talk, I guess." Paul said. "I thought you were mad at me." I raised an eyebrow playfully at him. "I didn't say I was, and I didn't say I wasn't." Paul said as he stood up. "I'll see you around, John." Paul softly smiled. 

"Aye, you will."

 


	11. (Just Like) Starting Over

****

Dr. McCartney

_Sadie: Paul, something amazing has happened. You've gotta be here.... For John._

_Paul: On my way._

I walked into the hospital in a rush, I had to know what was going on that was oh-so-wonderful that Sadie texted me to come in on my first day off in a while. John had been doing alright since he'd been back. We hadn't really spoken about anything other than work related subjects, but I think that was what he needed. He had to get back into the swing of things. "Good! You're here!" Sadie smiled as she walked up next to me at the entrance to the hospital. "What are you doing down here?" I asked with a slight smile. "Just making sure you came." Sadie had a huge grin on her face. "What in the hell is going on?" I asked with a chuckle, slightly nervous for her response. "I haven't seen him yet, but I know he's going to be thrilled. A patient was admitted not long after you left the other day, a 11 year old girl named Ana with all of these crazy symptoms. Dr. Martin, you know, the attending in oncology? He's definitely one of the best we've got. But anyway he, Richard and even Epstein were convinced the girl was going mental and it was all in her mind. Which, to me totally seemed like a possibility." Sadie was rambling as we walked toward the lift.  

The door of the lift closed and we began moving. "Okay, so?" I waited for the rest of her explanation. "So! John comes in. He takes the chart from Dr. Martin and sends little sweet Ana down for testing." Sadie was practically jumping. "What did he find?!" I was intrigued as all hell now. "Exactly what he was looking for. Ana has a small stage one tumour behind her spine." Sadie stopped and stared me dead in the eye. "Who in the bloody hell would think to look for that?" I asked, mouth agape. "I know. None of the symptoms pointed to it." Sadie's smile was from ear to ear, as was mine now. "He's back to normal, Paul. My John is back!" She hugged me just before the doors to the lift opened. Sadie saw George standing by her nurses station and she skipped over to him. I stepped out of the lift after Sadie, and watched her flirt and smile at my friend. I wasn't on shift yet, so I sat down behind the nurses station and began scrolling through my phone, waiting for something exciting to happen as Sadie had told me. 

Sadie and George went back to their normal work day, both anxiously waiting for John to arrive on our floor. I went back and forth from scrolling through my phone to chatting with the odd nurse, when I finally heard Sadie's voice again. She came into the nurses station in a huff. "I haven't seen John yet." She pouted as she sat down. "He's probably just busy, love." I patted her thigh reassuringly. Sadie crossed her arms and sighed. "I'm just excited." She pouted some more. I was worried she was getting her hopes up too high, but then again, Sadie knew John a lot better than I did, I supposed. I looked over at her and watched her eyes widen. She shot up out of her chair like a bullet, and began running. I looked to see what she was running toward, and there he was. John was standing by the doorway to the ward, filing a chart. I smiled as I stood up so I too could walk over to him, but didn't feel like there was much excitement radiating off of him, nor myself. Until he turned around so I could see his face.

When I saw his face, my legs wouldn't move anymore. It was like I had been sitting with my feet in drying cement the entire time I had been in the nurses station. John's face was glowing with happiness when he saw Sadie. He picked her up and spun her around, quickly placing her down and kissing her cheek. But as the two stood there and spoke, I stared at what could only be described as a star, John Lennon. I felt something hot bloom in my chest as I stared at him. The feeling was quite similar to an explosion that vibrated throughout my entire body, causing me to almost fall over. When his eyes finally locked with mine, the feeling that stretched throughout me was strange. It was completely and utterly overwhelming. The way my cheeks burned was like I was caught in the middle of an outrageous fire, but I was completely safe at the same time.

"Earth to Paul!" Sadie was standing in front of me now, with John next to her. I laughed nervously. "Good catch on that diagnosis, John." I smiled at him. "C'mon, McCartney. We're heading to the pub." John smiled too. I couldn't stop myself from smiling like a bloody idiot, my cheeks were getting sore. "I'll text George to meet us there! Richard is already over there." Sadie smiled, her arm linked with John's. I walked beside John nervously as we approached the pub, seeing Richard and George sitting and waving us over. John happily waved back, with his arm still linked with Sadie's. Sadie skipped over to kiss George, dragging John along with her. We joined them at the table. George handed us each a pint and smiled. "Congratulations are in order, to Dr. John Lennon!" Sadie held her glass up. We all clinked glasses and took a swig. I set my pint down and looked at John. I saw his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear a damn thing. His smile made it seem as though the entire world had lost it's colour, but John had all of the colour in the world beaming off of him. 

"You alright, McCartney?" I finally heard him speak. "Oh, uhm, yeah. I'm just happy you're back." I nodded and pried my eyes away from him and looked down at my pint. "I just can't believe it was your first guess, though!" Richard chuckled, I had not been paying attention whatsoever. I took a long swig of my pint and looked back up at John, who was smiling and chatting with the other three. My eyes fell to his lips. "That patient is one of the sweetest young girls I have ever met, I'm really glad it worked out." John couldn't stop smiling as he spoke. My mind drifted back to the first time he kissed me. He was absolutely hammered and had literally jumped on me. The way his lips connected with mine, the spark that filled my soul and completed my unfinished puzzle. Suddenly John was looking at me and laughing. "W-what?" I said, nervously smiling. "You've got some foam from yer pint on yer lip." John chuckled as I tried to wipe it away. "Hold on," John grabbed a napkin and slowly wiped the foam off of my lip. I felt my cheeks burn red as I stared at him.

After a few hours and one too many pints, George helped a drunken Sadie home and Richard called himself a cab, leaving John and I alone at the table. "I'm drunk as hell." I muttered, sipping at my almost-empty pint. "I can walk you home, if you'd like." John offered. I smiled and nodded. He paid for our tab and lead me outside. As we walked, John stared up at the sky. "Look at those bloody stars, eh?" He smiled. I looked up, but as I did so the alcohol caught up to me. I stumbled and nearly fell on my face. John caught me by my waist and arm, with a laugh. As he helped hold me up on my feet, I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or John making me feel so ridiculously intoxicated. John chuckled. "You really are drunk!" He found it hilarious. "C'mon, this is my house." I pointed. "Goodnight, Paul." John started to walk away, making my heart sink. "John!" I called after him. "Yes?" He spun around with a small grin on his face. 

"Do you wanna come in for a bit?" I asked, slurring a few words. "I thought you'd never ask." John winks as he takes my arm, leading me into my own house. We both kicked off our shoes and slowly walked into the kitchen. John sat down as I grabbed a bottle of scotch out of my cabinet. "You've been acting so weird lately, Macca." John observed. "What? I'm drunk, what do you expect?" I laughed as I poured two glasses. "Nah, I mean since I've been back at the hospital." John sounded more serious this time. "I've just been trying to give you space, y'know, help you get back on your feet. Seems like it worked." I shrugged and set my drink down, and stuck the other one out for John. "Ta," John thanked me and reached for it. His fingers covered mine completely, and the familiar touch caused me to jump, and drop his glass all over the floor. "Bloody hell, I'm sorry," I shook my head, trying to calm myself back down as I spun around to the counter to grab paper towel. "It's okay, Paul! Plenty more booze where that came from." John reassured me. 

We both bent down at the same time, trying to clean up the mess and being the clumsy drunk that I was, I bonked my forehead right off of John's. We both fell back onto our arses and palmed our foreheads. "Fuckin' hell," John was laughing hysterically at that point. "I'm sorry." I began laughing too. I looked up at his smiling face, my eyes falling onto his lips again. I watched his cheeks turn red as well. I wanted to lean over the broken glass and spilt scotch and kiss him, and even though we had kissed before, I was petrified that if I did, my entire world could fall apart. "Clumsy bugger," John joked, breathlessly. I blushed and managed to look away, beginning to clean up. John stood up and poured us another glass, and I threw out the mess that was caused my his hand touching mine. He set the glasses down on the table and pulled one of the chairs out, gesturing for me to sit down. As I did so, he touched the small of my back. 

I smiled and sat down. "What the hell is going on with you?" John said with a chuckle. I couldn't admit what was really going on, because I knew it wasn't just the alcohol alone making me feel like this. "Just drunk!" I laughed and looked away from the older man. "I like it when you're flustered." John said with a smile. "Wha'? I'm not flustered!" I argued. John just chuckled and sipped his scotch. "First night of drinking I've had in a while." John looked at his glass. "Really? You've been completely sober?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him. I felt my head begin to spin a little, but I tried to keep myself together. "Aye, I have." John smiles. "I'm happy fer ya." I slurred. "Definitely don't miss it as much as I thought I would." John set the glass down and looked up at me. "You, my friend, need to get some sleep." John stood up and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. 

John slowly helped me up to my bedroom, my head bouncing from side to side. He lied me down, and even took my socks off. I was staring up at the ceiling, trying to stop the horrible case of spins that had come over me. "Paul, Paul." John was touching my arm. I looked over at him. "There's a glass of water on the side table for you and a few slices of bread if you think you want to eat something." He was smiling, and moved a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Thank you, John." I whispered quietly, as if I was trying not to scare the both of us. He had a soft smile on his face. "I'm gonna sleep on your couch, yell if you need me." He whispered back, and left me lying in bed remembering each line on his face, the way his eyelashes fluttered fast when he was happy, and the way his smile was a little crooked.

 


	12. Eat At Home

Dr. Lennon

I woke up on Paul's stiff couch with a sore back and freezing cold feet. It didn't take much to wake me up, the lad didn't even have drapes over his windows so the sun came beaming in to wake me. I stood up and stretched, yawning like mad. Thankfully, I hadn't drank nearly as much as poor McCartney so I wasn't hungover as I expected him to be that morning. I walked into his dimly lit kitchen and turned on his coffee maker, and opened his fridge. Did he ever eat? There was a carton of eggs, a bottle of what looked like expired milk, and three apples. I decided I would try to make him some scrambled eggs. When I was in med school, when we would all go out and get too knackered, eggs were always my savior in the morning. As I fried them up and made some coffee, I heard some grunting and groaning coming close. I spun around and put some eggs on a plate quickly so they'd be ready for him. I set it down on his tiny kitchen table and quickly poured him a cup of coffee. I was moving too quickly, because I definitely splashed myself with hot coffee.

"Wha's all this, then?" His groggy voice changed to a surprised, happy one. "Morning, sleeping beauty." I chuckled and sat down across from him with my own small plate of eggs and cup of coffee. "How are we feelin' this morning?" I asked. "Better than I thought I would." He grinned and sipped his coffee. It was amazing to me that even though he was a bit hungover, he looked like he could star in a bloody beauty pageant. "Not bad, eh? Thought you'd be worse off." I joked before taking a sip of what could only be described as the worst coffee I'd ever had in my entire life. "Us young folk can handle a night of drinking," Paul winked, taking a bite of his eggs. "Oh my god," He made a face and covered his mouth as he tried to chew. "What? Something wrong with the eggs?" I asked as I took a mouth full. I took one bite and instantly made the same face he had. "Who taught you t'cook?!" Paul laughed, setting his fork down. I did the same, almost shooting eggs out of my nose. "Bloody hell," I laughed a bit harder. "Coffee is crap too," I added, looking into the mug. "There's a diner down the road, do you wanna go?" Paul asked, batting his long eyelashes at me. Unlike the first day I met the lad, the eyelashes weren't on purpose this time. "`Suppose you're asking me on a date, then?" I raised an eyebrow at him and grinned. His face went red. "I, y'know, I mean, ugh," Paul stuttered. I stood up and chuckled. "Relax, I'm joking. C'mon, let's go." I grabbed my jacket and wallet and we headed out the door to begin walking to the diner.

"Remember much from last night?" I asked, looking over at him. I caught him looking directly at me, and we both awkwardly looked down to our feet. "Of course I do." Paul said, quite seriously. "Remember how drunk you were?" I asked, not looking at him this time. "Wasn't that drunk. I was happy." I looked at him as he said that, and was happy to find his smile looking back at me. We walked into the diner and took a seat by the back corner. "Coffee?" A young girl offered us as we sat down. "Ta," Paul and I both nodded as she grabbed us mugs and filled them to the brim. Paul blew on his for a moment and took a sip. "Guess you weren't here to make the coffee this mornin', it's rather tasty." He giggled as he sat his mug back down. "Sod off!" I chuckled too and took a sip. "I bet it's just cheap coffee, you've got." I added, setting my mug down and wrapping my cold hands around it. "It is, you know. I'm sure you've become aware of the fact that I don't have much money." Paul raised a brow at me. I could tell he was serious, but he wasn't trying to make me uncomfortable. It had been hard to feel uncomfortable around him from the moment we met. The girl came back with two menus. "I'll give you two a few minutes." She smiled and walked away. It wasn't a very large or busy diner, so I assumed she was the only girl working the floor.

"So, is the food exquisite here or something?" I asked, looking down at the menu. "It's better than the cruddy old eggs you attempted to cook this morning." Paul teased me as he picked up his own menu. "But yeah, their food isn't bad at all. They always play good music on the radio, too." He added. I set my menu down and listened to the music playing, looking up at the ceiling from the corner of my eye. "Ah, Elvis." I smiled smugly and listened to the King play. "You like Elvis?" Paul set his menu down and looked at me with excited eyes. "Of course I bloody like Elvis. He's the King of rock'n'roll, don't you know." I smiled at his excited look. "He's the reason I got into music." Paul picked up his menu again, hiding his already rosy cheeks. "Me too. Named my guitar after him." I picked my menu back up too. "You actually play?" Paul asked with a little jump in his voice. "Yeah, mate. I'll teach you someday." I winked and decided on my breakfast. "No need. When I say Elvis is the reason I got into music, I mean playing it." He corrected me with a smile, flipping to the next page of his menu. "Is that so?" I couldn't wipe this stupid grin off my face now. "It is, you know. Always wanted to be a rock star." Paul sipped his coffee, and the girl noticed us put our menus down and tried to hurry finishing her task to come over to us.

"To the toppermost of the poppermost, is what I always said. Till I decided t'become a doctor." I admitted to him. The waitress made her way over. "What can I get for you lads?" She asked with a smile, flipping open her small little notebook. "We'll both have the number 3." Paul ordered for the both of us, causing me to smile like mad and raise a brow at him. "The usual, Paul. I should've known." She winked at him and took our menus away, disappearing into the kitchen. "So, what changed it all for you?" I asked him, referring back to the conversation that had just been interrupted. "Well, my mum died when I was 14. But, my family never explained what happened. I didn't even know she was ill until... Well, until it was too late to know." Paul's eyes began wandering. "So when I was 16, my Da' finally explained she had breast cancer and that the doctors couldn't help her anymore. That's what changed it. I decided I wanted to be the doctor that could help, I s'pose." Paul shrugged his shoulders and finally made eye contact with me again. "Makes sense." I nodded, remembering the pain I endured when my Mother passed away. "What about you, then?" Paul asked me, turning the tables so that the spotlight was no longer on him. "I can assure you that I still want to be a rockstar." I winked at him jokingly. "But, my Aunt -who raised me- got quite sick for a few weeks. Pneumonia. The doctor that helped her reminded me of Superman, and I was just enamoured by him. After that, I pulled up my big boy trousers and made sure my marks were in order." I explained. "Not as touching a story as your's." I laughed a little, reaching for my cup of coffee.

The waitress brought us our food. Two pancakes and scrambled eggs. "Lovely, thank you." I smiled at her. "Ta." Paul nodded and smiled at her. She winked at him again and walked away, causing me to grind my teeth and roll my eyes. "What?" Paul asked before taking a mouth full of egg. "Nothin', she seems t'like you s'all." I looked down at my plate as I also took a bite of my eggs. "Okay, you win. These eggs are much better than my grotty ones." I chuckled. "Dead grotty, those were." Paul laughed too. I kept my eye out for the waitress, I didn't want her to keep flirting with Paul, you see. But thankfully, she refrained. She was rather busy now. "It seems like you like her." Paul pointed out with a slight awkward chuckle. "Nah, just making sure she quits 'er flirting with ya." I admitted, not looking up. I was afraid to see what his reaction could've been. We stayed silent for a few moments. We'd only really acknowledged the fact that we were attracted to each other on a few occasions, and when things finally started to look like we could begin something... I had a complete breakdown.

  
"Do you still play?" Paul asked me as he finished his breakfast. "What?" I looked up at him now, confused about what he had asked, and caught off guard by his eyes as I was every time I looked into them. "Guitar. Music. Do you still play?" He chuckled at my confusion. "Oh! Uhm, well you know how it is being a doctor. Busy all the time. But, when I have the time I still sit down and play a bit." I told him as I also finished my breakfast and reached for my coffee. "Do you?" I raised a brow at him. "Once in a blue moon, yeah." He smiled as the waitress reappeared. It took all of my energy not to roll my eyes at her presence again. "More coffee, love?" She directed the question right to Paul, as if I wasn't there. "Ta, love." He pushed his cup over and winked at her, then looked to me as if he was doing it just to push my damn buttons. "And for you, sir?" She looked over at me, and lifted the coffee pot as if I didn't know what she was referring to. "Yes." I said blandly and shifted my cup closer to her. She filled my cup and walked away, but not without giving Paul a second glance over her shoulder. Secretly, I hoped she'd trip and spill hot coffee all over her bloody face. What can I say, I don't handle jealousy well.  
"She always like that with you?" I finally asked before blowing on my coffee again. "Nah, more so recently. Been coming alone, though." Paul explained, making sure not to make eye contact with me. "Who'd ye come with before?" I asked, straightening my back. "My mate from the old hospital, Jane. We don't talk much now, but she used to come with me. S'pose the waitress thought she was me girlfriend." Paul shrugged. "Ah," I nodded understandingly. "Well, I guess you won't be coming alone anymore." He looked up and smiled at me as I spoke. "Is that so?" His smile was absolutely hypnotizing. "Aye." I nodded. The waitress approached us again. "Bloody hell." I complained, and Paul chuckled at me. She handed us our bill. "Whenever you're ready." She smiled and walked away. I snatched the small piece of paper before Paul could, and pulled out my wallet. "Y'don't have to," He said with a smile. "Nah, but I want to." I winked at him and placed the bill down on the table with some money, and a tip. As much as the waitress drove me crazy with her flirtatious ways, she still had to serve the whole diner on her own. "Shall we?" I gestured toward the door. "We shall." Paul grinned and stood up with me.

We walked out of the diner into the brisk mid-morning air, and I took a deep breath. "Thanks for that." Paul said as we began to walk. "For breakfast? You're most welcome." I bowed to him jokingly as we walked, causing him to giggle and look away. "You're quite jealous, aren't you?" He observed the obvious. It definitely wasn't like I was trying to hide it. "Well, she was coming onto you on our..." I cut myself off before I said the word date. "On our what, John?" Paul began kicking a rock as we approached his house. "Y'know." I shrugged. He began fumbling with his keys as we walked up the lane way to his door. "No, John. I don't know." He said quite seriously, now unlocking the door and not looking up from doing so. We walked into his house, I closed the door behind me and turned to face him. He leaned in closer to me and reached around me to lock the door. He was so damn close I could smell his hair. "On our what, then?" He said, still not moving back away from me. "I'm done playing this game." I almost whispered the words. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He almost instantly cupped my face with his hands, too. Our lips moved together as if they'd never been apart. When I finally pulled away, we were both smiling.

"On our date, you daft git."


End file.
